Starcrossed
The reckless son of a marijuana grower falls in love with the naive daughter of the local sheriff who is determined to eradicate marijuana cultivation in this modern retelling of Romeo and Juliet.
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I like this Logline. You have built in conflict and well defined protagonist and antagonist. I am assuming the two fathers are the antagonist. My only other comment would be to “show” how it is a modern retelling of Romeo and Juliet without saying directly so in the logline. For instance, “…the local sheriff who is determined to eradicate marijuana in the county and protect his daughter from its influences and anyone involved with it.” Or something to that effect.
Just a thought. Good job.
I like the premise but the logline feels more like an explanation of the story than it does a logline.
In a logline you have a main character, a goal and something that stands in the way of that goal. In your logline the only character you have given a goal to is the sheriff.
I would reword this logine so that your main character is the one who has the goal.
So solid premise, logline could use a little work
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
If the story is set in the present and in the US of A, I suggest meth rather than marijuana. Marijuana is s-o-o last century as a contraband drug; states are decriminalizing it and using it as a source of sorely needed tax revenue. Even the federales (DEA) are looking the other way, redeploying limited resources to other drugs.
Great points by dpg there — if it was set in the, say, early sixties it could work well.
Man… I’m living in the wrong country,
Best of luck with it.