This romantic, sci-fi action fantasy is set in a medieval world where war is common and survival is a daily struggle. The young heroine, Betha must persevere to overcome beasts, barbarians, ice Vikings, mythical creatures, elves and savages throughout the kingdom who all want her head.

We don’t need names in a logline. It takes up valuable words – a logline should ideally be under 40 words. If there’s a certain amount of world building required to understand the story then, obviously, go for it. It’s a guideline only.

Check out the formula page to help with how a logline should be formatted. The main things we need though are an inciting incident (something that kick starts the story and poses a question for the protagonist), a protagonist, and a goal (that is the protagonist’s answer to the question posed in the inciting incident).

Currently, all we have is a situation where your protagonist is simply avoiding being killed and battling people/creatures. To what end? Why do they want her head? What’s she trying to achieve? Who is Betha? How young is young? 8 or 20?

It’s more Fantasy than SciFi. SciFi, to me, is taking the world as we know and advancing it in some or many scientific ways. Space travel, aliens, futuristic worlds, etc. etc. I think setting it in a medieval world with mythical creatures – this screams Fantasy. Game of Thrones is a Fantasy. Not a SciFi. It might seem trivial, but if a production company are looking to make a new “Game of Thrones” type show and they search their loglines by genre… yours won’t come up.

Where’s the romance element?

Ultimately, I think we have a good idea of the world but no sense of the story. Story is the most important thing in a logline. A logline IS the story – albeit condensed into 40 words or less (ideally).