Penpusher
Posted: 2015-08-06T08:06:38+10:00 In:

Three kids who are self proclaimed ‘kings of the school” get their comeuppance when a kid they bullied along with the principal posts embarrassing and inappropriate videos to facebook and youtube.

Kings of the school

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    4 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Agreed with Richiev not sure who the MC is?
      What is the inciting incident? What does the MC want? Where are these videos being sent to? What is at stake?

      Hope this helps.

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    2. Poor behaviour by the principal! Does he get his comeuppance? Not sure whether this is a comedy, or a drama about a school principal’s crime of cyber revenge on badly behaved students – very contentious.

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    3. Singularity

      Is the lead character one of the three ‘kings’ of the school?

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    4. Samurai

      Is this a ten page script? Doesn’t sound like there’s much more of a story than that. Also not clear on what’s happening. Did the kings bully the principal? Did the principal join them in bullying a kid? Or is the principal helping the kid get back at the kings? Where and how were these videos acquired? If the videos are inappropriate, would the principal really get involved? Sounds like a great way to get fired by the school board. A rather vague description anyway, embarrassing and inappropriate?who’s the protagonist? The kid? The principal? Sounds like the kings are the antagonists, but you make it sound like the story’s about them. Is this script written or are you trying out loglines first to see what works?

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