Informals
To add some spice to mundane life a wedding photographer and his childhood friend set about organizing a show of local rock bands that were famous in the 1990s and make a documentary about them. Will the two friends manage to find their true calling in life when everything goes wrong?
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In a movie a character should want or need something so bad that it seems like their whole world will end if they don’t get it.
“Adding some spice to their lives” does’t seem that compelling a goal.
Nor do you have an inciting incident. Why now? Why not last year or next year? What happened to make the characters act now?
Now your story may have both those elements but your logline will improve greatly if you add a compelling goal and an inciting incident.
In a movie a character should want or need something so bad that it seems like their whole world will end if they don’t get it.
“Adding some spice to their lives” does’t seem that compelling a goal.
Nor do you have an inciting incident. Why now? Why not last year or next year? What happened to make the characters act now?
Now your story may have both those elements but your logline will improve greatly if you add a compelling goal and an inciting incident.
As Richiev said. The logline needs spicing up with the elements he suggested.
As Richiev said. The logline needs spicing up with the elements he suggested.
As previously mentioned stakes and clear objectives are needed.
Additionally if this is a farce comedy then the premise could work so long as a need in the character’s world is established the story would also require sufficient and well structured sub plots to work for an entire film. A good example of a similar premise that executed farce well is Wane’s World 2.
With regards to the logline itself I would say that asking a question at the end in my mind normally weakens a logline. A good logline should describe a set of characters and obstacle and a need in such a way that a question is naturally formed in the mind of the reader with no need for a direct prompt from the logline itself. The effect of this is intrigue for the reader so when you ask the reader a question instead this effect is diluted.
Hope this helps.
As previously mentioned stakes and clear objectives are needed.
Additionally if this is a farce comedy then the premise could work so long as a need in the character’s world is established the story would also require sufficient and well structured sub plots to work for an entire film. A good example of a similar premise that executed farce well is Wane’s World 2.
With regards to the logline itself I would say that asking a question at the end in my mind normally weakens a logline. A good logline should describe a set of characters and obstacle and a need in such a way that a question is naturally formed in the mind of the reader with no need for a direct prompt from the logline itself. The effect of this is intrigue for the reader so when you ask the reader a question instead this effect is diluted.
Hope this helps.