Trivial thieves hatch a plot to heist big business’s grand scam: the cure for cancer.
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Hello,
me too I don’t understand what ‘grand scam’ means here. Try to tell it straight: what do the thieves must steal?
What Richiev said.
And how can one “heist” a cure for cancer? ?What does that mean? It’s unclear whether “scam” means Big Pharma is making big bucks off a high priced bogus cure. ?Or whether Big Pharma is making big bucks off a real cure by charging too much. ? Please clarify.
Your logline would be improved with a lead character
Also, if the heist was personal it would make the logline more compelling– Such as the thief’s wife or sister has cancer.
This would also add an inciting incident… When his sister is diagnosed with Cancer.
Also, big business is very vague, you should have a specific bad guy.
Hope this helps, good luck with this