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grachamoncha
Posted: July 7, 20152015-07-07T08:19:49+10:00 2015-07-07T08:19:49+10:00In: Public

Twenty years after the unexplained disappearance of five children, a grubby private investigator and his straight-laced daughter get tangled up in the case, taking on the mob, decade old secrets and the gritty underworld of 60's America.

Fossa

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    3 Reviews

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    1. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2015-07-07T14:33:04+10:00Added an answer on July 7, 2015 at 2:33 pm

      The plot is unclear. What exactly will the PI do? What exactly does he need to achieve? Find the missing persons? Find their bodies? Catch the kidnapers?

      Also what are the stakes? What will happen if he fails to achieve his goal? Equally, what will happen if he succeeds?

      Hope this helps.

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    2. FFF Mentor
      2015-07-07T08:54:32+10:00Added an answer on July 7, 2015 at 8:54 am

      hello, you should mention the inciting event (what puts the story in motion.. the “why now”)

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    3. 2015-07-07T08:37:16+10:00Added an answer on July 7, 2015 at 8:37 am

      This is a great logline!

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