Delusion
Two brothers, Logan and Michael, are forced to fight against the Irish Mafia due to their father’s debt.
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Hello,
your logline is short and this is very good but you need some more work.
Usually in loglines you don’t use character names, here’s why: http://www.raindance.org/10-tips-for-writing-loglines/
You need to add some details like a one word description for the main characters (the 2 brothers – or maybe only one is the main character – why 2? this is not clear).
“are forced”, this is a very frequent expression in loglines and quite always it doesn’t mean anything: forced by what? If I take litterarly your logline it seems that your characters are passive and this is usually not good in a logline. Give a clear goal to your characters.
Maybe it’s just me, but this doesn’t stand out as much as it should. It’s a crime drama, right, but I don’t feel anything from this logline. Is the father dead, is he alive? Does he want to pay the debt or not? Can he even pay the debt? But that’s just me.
Thank You.
Also what is the starting point of the story? What is the inciting incident?
This needs to directly relate to their goal which is what by the way? what do they actually need to achieve in their fight?
Hope this helps.