Two Men In A Van
Alan SmitheePenpusher
Two hapless petty thieves get involved with a gang of armed robbers but end up chained and locked in the back of a guarded van. All they know is that they must try and escape before the gang returns, or they may never see daylight again.
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Dear JulienWillis,
Two men trapped in a van–nice clean situation. I also liked the hook of “hapless petty thieves” getting in way over their heads with the gang of armed robbers. When you say they need to escape or “they may never see daylight again” do you mean they will be killed when the gang returns? If the gang members are already planning to kill them, why wouldn’t they do that before they leave?
I like the movie this logline represents. A kind of Buried but with two guys in a van.
I just think you could summarise it in a more concise manner. And probably as one sentence. Something like:
Locked in a van by armed robbers, two hapless petty thieves struggle to escape before their captors return to kill them.
That says the same thing in less than half the words. And it kind of shows that something else is missing. Why did they leave them there? What was the heist? You have room to add just that little detail to add intrigue. Maybe begin with “After a heist goes wrong…”
Like almiiitey says, why did the gang leave them there in the first place if they plan on killing them?
Thanks For the feedback. The idea was that the protagonists think they are going to be killed, but the gand acryally need them alive, hence locked in a van. Gives me food for thought though and glad you like the general idea.
Hi. Thanks for the comments. The idea was that the protagonists are led to believe they will be killed but the gang actually need them alive to pin the heist on them. Given me food for thought though, much appreciated.