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elbigelow
Posted: July 23, 20122012-07-23T10:27:09+10:00 2012-07-23T10:27:09+10:00In: Public

Untitled urban fantasy

A ruptured gas line opens up a gaping hole in the Earth, swallowing a bus full of New York City commuters. When rescue attempts fail the shaken survivors must find their own way out of the 1300-foot chasm.

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    7 Reviews

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    1. elbigelow
      2012-07-26T09:13:28+10:00Added an answer on July 26, 2012 at 9:13 am

      Hmm, interesting angle making the Army reject disgruntled. At the moment I’m finishing up the book but it feels a little flat in the conflict department, so I’m thinking about adding some type of sub-Earth species living in the deep. I wrote the book as a hero’s journey for the Army reject who goes from lost in the world to big-time hero. The pipes weren’t deep at all. The bus lands in a pocket adjacent to a water table, making rescue efforts very difficult. Survivors actually find water that is leaking from this water table, but the few who drink the water are poisoned. FDNY does deserve some glory. Do you agree that if there is no leader among the survivors the story will suffer?

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    2. Maidenscombe
      2012-07-25T09:53:45+10:00Added an answer on July 25, 2012 at 9:53 am

      Is this for the book or are you doing a script?
      If it is for a script, bringing in monsters could make the film very expensive to make.
      Should the army reject see this as his chance for revenge, diguising it as a rescue. The heroes of the day are the fire department, you’d have an emotional angle to promote and the rescue attempts would increase the tension.
      A 1300 foot hole? How deep were the gas pipes? Chances are the water table is going to be the main concern, not Godzilla’s offspring.

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    3. mxisaac
      2012-07-24T04:58:22+10:00Added an answer on July 24, 2012 at 4:58 am

      Maybe something like… “When a hole swallows a bus of New York City commuters and places them out of the reach of rescue, an Army reject must find the courage to help get everyone to safety and avoid the creatures that caused the collapse.” I’m making an assumption that the creatures were involved in the accident.

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    4. elbigelow
      2012-07-24T03:13:44+10:00Added an answer on July 24, 2012 at 3:13 am

      Absolutely. There is a young Army reject who is searching for some purpose in his life. This will be, of course, his moment to step up and do something big with his life. I finished the novel already, but I think it’s lacking that extra spice. This is why I’m writing some creatures from the deep into the story, then I’ll try to sell this puppy to the studios.

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    5. elbigelow
      2012-07-24T03:09:58+10:00Added an answer on July 24, 2012 at 3:09 am

      They are dealt a huge blow when they find out a rescue may take weeks due to toxic gases near the surface, and the collapsed asphalt. And then, to make matters worse, they discover that they are not alone down there. I’m writing in some kind of creatures that live below the surface of the Earth, I just don’t know what they look like just yet. This is the fantasy part. How would I include these monsters from the deep into the logline, without making it too wordy?? Any thoughts?

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    6. wereviking
      2012-07-23T22:15:28+10:00Added an answer on July 23, 2012 at 10:15 pm

      How is it an urban fantasy? And how would rescue attempts fail in the middle of NYC? I sense a missing fantastical element or am I just mislead by the “urban fantasy” tag?

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    7. almiiitey Penpusher
      2012-07-23T20:25:59+10:00Added an answer on July 23, 2012 at 8:25 pm

      I could see the potential for a full movie in one sentence. Lots of interesting possibilities “bloomed” in my imagination based on your description. Is there one person that will take the “lead” among the commuters?

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