Logliner
Posted: 2017-02-09T00:51:47+10:00 In:

When a dedicated zookeeper ends up in an unorthodox animal shelter, she becomes fascinated by the back-to-basics-lifestyle of her unsociable boss and his adolescent son.

When a dedicated zookeeper ends up in an unorthodox animal shelter, she becomes fascinated by the back-to-basics-lifestyle of her unsociable boss and his adolescent son.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      I like the premise: ?If possible you might want to clarify what unorthodox means in terms of the shelter (If you can do it in just a few words, if it takes a whole paragraph then ignore this suggestion)

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    2. Singularity

      Agreed with DPG.

      I’ll add that a story is best framed within a set sequence of events: Inciting incident, action, and goal.

      What is the inciting incident in this story? What motivates her to have to take action?

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    3. Singularity

      And then what? ?What becomes her dramatic goal? ?What does her fascination propel?her to do?
      And who/what opposes her?
      And what are the stakes? ?What’ the big deal about being “fascinated”? ?What existential difference will it make in?her life?

      Please check out the “formula” option at the top of the web page for guidelines on how to formulate an industry standard logline.

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