Terminal Story
KnightriderMentor
When he’s diagnosed with cancer, a failed writer steals cocaine from a terrifying drug lord to give him the material he needs to write a bestselling screenplay to ensure his family’s future is secure.
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“When he’s diagnosed with cancer, a failed writer agrees to be embedded in Iraq with a group of Marine Recon in the hopes of writing a best selling book and leaving his family secure.”
The re-write you did is much better. I like it!
Thank you.
I wanted to add the element of an antagonist that could stand in his way, and even though he wants to do right by his family, there will also be an element that perhaps he is trying to get himself killed because he is scared to go through the pain and suffering that is too come and needs to learn that just because he is dying he can’t be cavalier with his life in the meantime.
The logic of the premise seams flawed. If he is a writer why does he have to take such a risky action as steal from a drug lord in order to write instead of just making something up?
By doing so he may get himself killed before being able to secure his family’s future.
Secondly it is no great secret that selling a screenplay is a high risk and difficult thing why would he risk so much for such a small chance of success?
Because of the holes in logic here I find it very hard to suspend my disbelief and go along with the story.
Hope this helps.
What Nir Shelter said. It’s a stretch for me to buy into the premise of the story.