When a Hell-inspired horror theme park malfunctions, the park’s security chief must rescue thousands of visitors, including his daughter, as the attractions come to life and become Hell on Earth.
Sylia GrayLogliner
When a Hell-inspired horror theme park malfunctions, the park’s security chief must rescue thousands of visitors, including his daughter, as the attractions come to life and become Hell on Earth.
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When his daughter becomes trapped in a demonic theme park, a mild mannered security chief must battle hell itself to rescue his daughter.
The logline is too wordy in my opinion – try to write a more concise version like the one in the previous comment. The concept is clear and kind of solid, but it’s not a ‘killer logline’ because it has a very well know structure (a theme park going crazy like in the classic ‘Westworld’). I recommend you to work on the reasons for the park to going crazy (built on an indina cemetary? more original than that…) and a clever ending.
Does this occur on Halloween? ?That’s the obvious time for people to go to a ?theme park on hell. ?(And the obvious time for the movie to be released.)
The twist of the story is the park becomes literally hell on earth. ?Okay. ?However, I would like to see more irony. ?What if the person who must rescue his daughter is the owner/designer of the park? ?What he built for his own amusement and profit has turned into his worst nightmare? ?What if he must save his daughter and redeem himself from his greed and hubris?
fwiw