Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
twilightPenpusher
Posted: April 25, 20132013-04-25T20:52:43+10:00 2013-04-25T20:52:43+10:00In: Public

When a Mafia leader goes to jail, his impulsive shopaholic housewife must assume the role of mafia boss and finish his last deadly mission without jeopardize the rest of the family.

Mafia Housewife

  • 0
  • 11 11 Reviews
  • 1,225 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    11 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. dpg Singularity
      2013-04-25T22:21:51+10:00Added an answer on April 25, 2013 at 10:21 pm

      I’m hooked on the premise.

      But:
      “finish his last deadly mission without jeopardize the rest of the family.”

      If there’s no jeopardy, there’s no 2nd and 3rd Act. There has to be jeopardy. Indeed, it’s because of jeopardy to the rest of her family (and herself) that she must take over.

      Also, about “last deadly mission”

      Since when did a mafia Don ever have one last deadly mission? They can never retire or transition out of the family business. That’s part of their existential dilemma. Ask Michael Corleone.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. twilight Penpusher
      2013-04-26T01:37:20+10:00Added an answer on April 26, 2013 at 1:37 am

      Maybe this is better?

      “When a Mafia leader goes to jail, his impulsive shopaholic housewife must assume the role of mafia boss and finish a important deadly mission with other mafia leaders.”

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    3. dpg Singularity
      2013-04-26T02:49:22+10:00Added an answer on April 26, 2013 at 2:49 am

      Better.

      But wouldn’t it also be likely that her husband’s incarceration creates immediate jeopardy in the form of rivals taking advantage of the situation to divide up his turf and take down his family?

      (Again, the Godfather has become the golden template for the gangster genre. Even though yours is a comedy. It is a comedy, right?)

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    4. twilight Penpusher
      2013-04-26T03:32:06+10:00Added an answer on April 26, 2013 at 3:32 am

      I think it as a comedy yes.

      Yes you have right about the jeopardy – should I put that in the logline?

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    5. dpg Singularity
      2013-04-26T04:43:07+10:00Added an answer on April 26, 2013 at 4:43 am

      Well, the jeopardy is there, so why not?

      I don’t know what your idea of the big job she has to finish for the family. But it wouldn’t hurt if it has something to do with taking down his arch rival. And then the husband goes to jail(complication triggering greater jeopardy…) and now she has to do the job before the arch rival, sensing vulnerability and opportunity, closes in for the kill shot.

      Anyway, your premise generates all kinds of comedic choices. IMHO you’ve got a premise with an genuine hook.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    6. twilight Penpusher
      2013-04-26T06:55:13+10:00Added an answer on April 26, 2013 at 6:55 am

      Thank you

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    7. twilight Penpusher
      2013-04-26T17:40:00+10:00Added an answer on April 26, 2013 at 5:40 pm

      Maybe something like this?

      When a Mafia leader goes to jail, his impulsive shopaholic housewife must assume the role of mafia boss and finish a deadly mission, to taking down his arch rival.”

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    8. Richiev Singularity
      2013-04-27T04:22:17+10:00Added an answer on April 27, 2013 at 4:22 am

      In a logline you should start with the main character in order to show, right off the bat, who’s the main character.

      “When a shopaholic mafia wife’s husband goes to jail she must…”

      Hope that helped, good luck with this!

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    9. twilight Penpusher
      2013-04-27T05:29:27+10:00Added an answer on April 27, 2013 at 5:29 am

      When a shopaholic mafia wife?s husband goes to jail she must assume the role of mafia boss and finish a deadly mission, to taking down his arch rival.?

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    10. almiiitey Penpusher
      2013-04-29T00:34:51+10:00Added an answer on April 29, 2013 at 12:34 am

      I enjoyed seeing the development of this logline through your comments, twilight. The only logline element that is unclear to me in your most recent update is what is at risk if she fails.

      A possible revision:

      When a shopaholic mafia wife’s husband goes to jail, she must take down his arch rival to protect her family.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    11. twilight Penpusher
      2013-04-29T01:54:08+10:00Added an answer on April 29, 2013 at 1:54 am

      Thanks…
      It?s very helpful this.

      Something like this?
      ‘When a shopaholic mafia wife?s husband goes to jail, she must assume the role of mafia boss and take down his arch rival to protect her family’

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 7,997
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,710

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.