D Forde
Louise WeihartPenpusher
When a many-times-jilted long-distance truckie falls in love online with a city writer, he must learn to trust again, to win her heart.
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Hi there
I think D Forde is also same old lol but ‘deeper and denser” too haha
They meet in the city where we show him as the fish out of water and then she gets in the truck and he sings to her and she’s “in love” lol and then it’s all systems go. But …… he’s got to learn to love his estranged son before he can even think about loving a woman …. and that’s his life-changing event (B story) ….. to ultimately get the girl …..
Thanks 🙂
Happy New Year dpg! What timing. I am just getting stuck into this again in earnest. The crazy thing is there’s nothing, except gut feel and maybe eyes. We’ll see how it goes. Right now I’m working on getting the structure in place (also following Blake Snyder’s ‘beat sheet’). This ahead of my next classes when we are going to look at the technical aspects of screenplays eg how to write dialogue etc). Thanks so much for your support. Look forward to chatting in the new year.
Okay, that can happen. But backing up a plot beat or two. They first meet online before they talk on the phone, right? So:
What’s the psychological button pushed in their initial low-risk, online contact that causes them to cross the threshold (per the terminology of the “Hero’s Journey”) to the more emotionally perilous contact of voice to voice where the romantically magic moment happens?
Anyway, best wishes with your story. It’s topical and has intriguing possibilities.
Nothing like that in this case. A strange soul connection and the first time they speak they learn that they have both lost their first loves and aren’t with the people they should have been with.
Anyway, shared the logline at a meetup group today and they found the action lacking a ticking clock. Not going back to the drawingboard just yet. Going to start on the actual script now.
Thanks so much for your thoughtprovoking insights 🙂
The reason I ask is because I read a story the other day about how more dating is done through the web these days. The article estimated that at least 10% of relationships get going through the web — confirming both the credibility and topicality of your concept.
Anyway, if there was one general psychological button that galvanized the couples interviewed into more than casual browsing it seems to have been a shared passion, a mutally consuming interest. It could be something of weighty like religion or politics. Or something of less existential import like, a sports team, a struggle to lose weight, a breed of dog, photography, tattoos.
fwiw.
That I think is a universal million-dollar question…… What is the psychological button that makes people ‘fall in love’ rather than embark on a relationship with solid foundations that becomes love? In this case, well I don’t know. Initially it’s a soul connection, sense of a date with destiny. The underlying psychology …. well he is an avoidant and she is a love addict ……
>>>He meets someone online that literally takes his breath away.
How does her online profile and posting take his breath away? That is, out of all the candidates he is trolling on line, what is there about her that pushes his psychological button, galvanizes him into action? What is that psychological button?
Thanks so much, guys. How wonderful that technology allows us to meet amazing people we would otherwise never be able to 🙂
Really appreciate all the comments and your faith in the ‘true’ story dpg – let’s see if I can pull it off given a successful outcome is possible but not probable (as the true life story proved). Richiev your insights about what he wants vs what he needs are very insightful – in the real D Forde’s very own words, he is Bob Seger’s ‘Beautiful Loser’. Anyway, this is now where I’m at with it all …
When lonely middle-aged long-distance truck driver D Forde falls in love online with a city writer, he must get to the city and convince her to join him on the road, before he can win her heart and learn to love again.
Protagonist (D Forde). Inciting incident (falls in love online). Goal (win her heart). Action (has to get to Sydney to meet her, has to find ways to keep getting to Sydney, has to convince her to join him on the road and see what his world is like). Irony (someone so used to his own company is the character most unlikely to succeed in this situation). Theme: Can love overcome socio-economic divide? Can love conquer all? Weakness (inability to love/trust/truly give himself).
A) He wants a relationship (he likes being alone and loves his job but he is used to being ?in a relationship?)
B) He meets someone online that literally takes his breath away.
C) He is obsessed with getting her to love him.
D) He gets scared when he realizes he has actually fallen desperately in love so he runs away.
E) He realizes he?s made a mistake and has to win her back. (He accepts love)
The conflict of the story still being between what he wants (his life on the road and a ?relationship?) and what he needs (true love of the kind he had with his first love who was killed some 20 years before).
Louise says the story is loosely based on an actual relationship, so I think her scenario is credible. Reasonable, rational? Maybe, maybe not. But in any good romance, love overthrows logic, emotion bulldozes past all good reasons not to do something. As Billy Wilder is said to have always told his scriptwriting collaborator I.A.L. Diamond, “Don’t give me the logic, give me the emotion.”
Louise, I am a little worried about the dichotomy between your description of the truck driver in you logline and his actions you have described while summarizing your story.
—-
1)Your description is: many-times-jilted
2)Your action is: This truckie (truck driver) will have to get Sydney freight as often as possible and convince the writer to join him on a road trip
—-
This doesn’t seem like the action of a Many-times-jilted truck driver. (It sounds like someone looking for love, not hurt by love)
I think you would be better served if the ‘love interest’ was “Forced” upon him. His actions would be something along the lines of:
A) This is the last thing he wants. (He just wants to be left alone)
B) He reluctantly accepts the situation
C) He begins to enjoy the situation.
D) He gets scared when he realizes he fallen in love and then tries to run away.
E) He realizes he’s made a mistake and has to win her back. (He accepts love)
The conflict of the story would be between what he wants and what he needs.
What he wants: To be left alone
What he needs: To love again.
Just some thoughts. Hope that helped!
Hi Louise,
There are things I like in this logline ? but some things that I feel fall a bit flat. For me, the most enticing element is of a truckdriver wanting someone to share his life with (not that there aren?t thousands of married/ partnered truck drivers out there?)? I find it hard to imagine that someone would CHOOSE to be a truck driver if they didn?t like being alone. This then lends itself to the city writer perhaps being the one that tries to win his heart? ? what if HE has never really had a relationship, and SHE is the one who is ?many times jilted? ? It could then pan out that they both have something to TEACH each other, he teaches her self-worth/ self reliance, she teaches him how to trust others? of course, your story, and I don?t mean to mess with it ? just some food for thought.
The other issue is ? as dpg coined ? the ?meet-cute?: imo, difficult to pull-off successfully if that occurs online. Why not make it that they meet on the road ? like what-if, just as an example, she has a regular commute between Melbourne and Sydney, and maybe she misses a flight or what-have-you, and hitches a ride with him?something that could turn into a regular affair?
Anyways ? below is just my angle ? it?s missing a ?but??, and probably a few other things ? but hope any of this helps? and best of luck.
?A serial divorcee journalist discovers real love in an unexpected place when she hitches a ride with a contentedly insular truck driver between her regular interstate commute between Melbourne and Sydney?
Hi guys, thank you 🙂
Well, from what I understand the inciting incident in a love story is when the boy meets the girl. In this case, it’s love at first sight when he meets her online. Then it’s the frantic dash to meet her in person, which is the absolute defining moment for him. Then it’s the constant battle to get Sydney freight and convince her to join him on a road trip. Then it’s the ‘fun and games’ on the road, the engagement, etc. Then it’s back to the real world and the struggle to make that s-t-r-e-t-c-h. Can he? Can’t he? Well, in the true story (this is based on a true story) he can’t. In the film ………… hmmmmm ……. yea he can; we’re going for a happy ending here.
Interestingly though Richiev, what you say about brokenhearted is true but the love of his life (childhood sweetheart) is killed in a car accident before they can get married. So that’s in there but not as the inciting incident, but rather the ‘key incident’ in ‘Save the Cat’ speak (or the ‘ghost’). I haven’t written the script yet but pretty much have the outline. Will write first (very rough) draft over the Xmas holidays. So, yea, I am still working on the logline.
Thanks for your feedback guys. 🙂
As usual, Richiev, you come through with a concise option. But, I am more intrigued by Louise’s concept of a yawning socio-economic gulf between the two. Consequently, complicating his gun-shyness is the predicament that his reach, his intention, greatly exceeds his grasp. Thus, he must s-t-r-e-t-c-h himself, grow even more as a character, to close that gulf. He’s taking the additional risk, the audacious risk, of aiming higher than he would if he sets his sights on a waitress.
Is this script already written, or are you starting with the logline?
How about if you changed the inciting incident, see if that helps:
—–
“After the love of his life dumps for his best friend, a brokenhearted truck driver struggles to overcome gun-shy-nature when he meets a quirky waitress in Sidney.”
—–
Just a thought, hope that helped!
Hi, Louise! It’s the same ol’, same ol’ in my hemisphere of the globe, only deeper and denser.
As you know, one of the big beats in Blake Synder’s schema is the Life Changing Event. In the case of your story, I’m guessing that would be the meet-cute scene triggering their relationship. Further, for romances, a direct or indirect reference to that event is typical in the logline. So: given the vast gap between them in miles, employment and economic status, temperaments — how do they meet-cute?
Best wishes and regards.
Hi dpg, good to hear from you 🙂
As you can tell I’m still at it. Since we last spoke, I am half-way through Karel’s course and have read ‘Save the Cat’ (which I found really useful) and Syd Field’s ‘Screenplay’.
This truckie (truck driver) will have to get Sydney freight as often as possible and convince the writer to join him on a road trip – that’s the crux of the action until the midpoint. I’m still working on putting that into the logline.
Thanks so much for the response. You always get me thinking 🙂
How is your work going?
Best, Louise
RE: “Trusting” versus “not trusting”. That seems like an internal subjective need –it pertains to the character flaw — which is fine. But is the objective goal to “trust his heart” or to get the girl?
And in addition to internal issues the guy has with his heart, what external obstacle and/or romantic competition stands in the way of relationship with the writer?
Consider these loglines for 2 movies about romance and human relationships:
YOUNG ADULT
A newly divorced writer returns to her small home-town to rekindle a romance with her ex-boyfriend, who is now happily married and has a newborn daughter.
SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD
It?s love at first sight when a 23-year-old musician glimpses a girl at a party, but before he can win her affection, he has to fight off her seven violently possessive former lovers.
The protagonists have issues of the heart to sort out, but for the purpose of the logline, the story is cast in terms of clearly visible obstacles, including romantic competition, that stand between the protagonist and the relationship they want.
What external obstacles, what romantic competition, stand between the truck driver and the relationship he wants with the writer?
truck driver
What’s a truckie? Just curious