Posted: 2013-03-21T15:30:15+10:00 In:

When a student gets stuck in an elevator he must try to escape before the elevator drops to the bottom floor.

The Elivator

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    8 Reviews

    1. cool i like it

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    2. Good idea for a short film.
      Just one thing, try to be more clear with what’s at stake. 🙂

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    3. Penpusher

      The student obviously need another person(s) in there. relations , drama, action 🙂

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    4. Singularity

      This has good elements

      Protagonist-Student
      Protagonist goal-Getting out of the elevator
      Stakes-Death

      Normally there is an Antagonist but in this particular case it seems as if the situation is what’s standing in his way

      Two small ways you can improve this logline

      First, give us a deadline. He has one hour, he has fifteen minutes, maybe he has a paper due and must get out before he fails and won’t get into college.

      Second, give us and adjective describing the student. A clever student, a troubled student, an Honor student, something to give us a glimpse of personality.

      Hope that helped, good luck with this!

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    5. Singularity

      Good point, such as a nagging ex-girlfriend (Boyfriend)

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    6. Nice start, but I’d like to hear something of his emotional journey. What prevents him from getting out, when there’s no one to hinder him? Is he one-handed? Claustrophobic? And why is it important that he is a student – is he a theologist who believes that we are all in god’s hand and must change his view in order to survive, or an ingenieur who wanted to quit university and now has to think of a technological trick to get out (for saving the others in there :). Plot is one thing, character the other.

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    7. Thanks heaps 🙂

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    8. Logliner

      Always check for grammar and spelling before posting.

      “When a student is stuck in an elevator, he must try to escape before the elevator drops to the bottom floor.”

      Protagonist – Student

      Antagonist – Elevator

      Where is the elevator? How many floors?

      Also, answer the following questions.

      Who?
      What?
      Where?
      When?
      How?
      Why?

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