Connection
KnightriderMentor
When a vindictive cyber-terrorist steals nuclear activation codes, a distrusting special agent must use an experimental machine to enter his mind and retrieve them before he instigates a global conflict.
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Great – I have nothing to add – great.
Great – I have nothing to add – great.
“When the nuclear codes are stolen, a special ops team leader has 12 hours to enter the mind of a vindictive cyber-terrorist’s and delete his memory or the nukes will destroy Los Angeles the home of his wife and baby girl.”
—–
1: Ticking clock
2: be specific to which city
3: make the stakes personal for the lead character
“When the nuclear codes are stolen, a special ops team leader has 12 hours to enter the mind of a vindictive cyber-terrorist’s and delete his memory or the nukes will destroy Los Angeles the home of his wife and baby girl.”
—–
1: Ticking clock
2: be specific to which city
3: make the stakes personal for the lead character
I like the first two points, and I understand the 3rd point about making the stakes personal, but unsure if I want to give him a wife and child, merely as I have a potential idea for a love interest. So, need to work out how to increase the stakes so maybe I need to think more along the lines of Indiana Jones or Star Wars where there isn’t a family per se, but the threat is at a high level…e.g. Nazis win the war if they get the Arc or the Rebel Alliance is destroyed if the plans of the Death Star fall into the wrong hands.
I like the first two points, and I understand the 3rd point about making the stakes personal, but unsure if I want to give him a wife and child, merely as I have a potential idea for a love interest. So, need to work out how to increase the stakes so maybe I need to think more along the lines of Indiana Jones or Star Wars where there isn’t a family per se, but the threat is at a high level…e.g. Nazis win the war if they get the Arc or the Rebel Alliance is destroyed if the plans of the Death Star fall into the wrong hands.
Awesome. It is really hard to write these…as you probably know… so to even get one person saying they really like it is fantastic.
Awesome. It is really hard to write these…as you probably know… so to even get one person saying they really like it is fantastic.
The stakes are plenty high with a nuke no explaining needed, what Richieve is suggesting is a way to make the stakes personal for the MC.
Star Wars was not about the rebel alliance wining the war agains the Galactic Empire rather about Luke Skywalker’s journey that related to the war. Indiana Jones was not about the allies wining the war agains the Nazis rather it was about Indi’s journey that related to WW2.
When you have a good journey for the MC that is combined with high stakes that extended beyond the MC and their journey the story becomes a compelling experience for the audience.
In your original logline you specified an antagonist with a clear description “…vindictive cyber-terrorist…” but didn’t specify a MC with a clear description. Therefore the logline failed to structure a plot and describe a story because the reader couldn’t figure out who exactly was going to do what.
Hope this helps.
The stakes are plenty high with a nuke no explaining needed, what Richieve is suggesting is a way to make the stakes personal for the MC.
Star Wars was not about the rebel alliance wining the war agains the Galactic Empire rather about Luke Skywalker’s journey that related to the war. Indiana Jones was not about the allies wining the war agains the Nazis rather it was about Indi’s journey that related to WW2.
When you have a good journey for the MC that is combined with high stakes that extended beyond the MC and their journey the story becomes a compelling experience for the audience.
In your original logline you specified an antagonist with a clear description “…vindictive cyber-terrorist…” but didn’t specify a MC with a clear description. Therefore the logline failed to structure a plot and describe a story because the reader couldn’t figure out who exactly was going to do what.
Hope this helps.
It does, it helps a great deal. So, really need to nail a description for my MC, and tie that to the story. So on the surface it is about a team trying to obtain codes to stop a potential war, but underneath – we have the characters inner journey, which could be one of redemption to greed to discovering faith, but whatever I choose I must tie it to the story.
It does, it helps a great deal. So, really need to nail a description for my MC, and tie that to the story. So on the surface it is about a team trying to obtain codes to stop a potential war, but underneath – we have the characters inner journey, which could be one of redemption to greed to discovering faith, but whatever I choose I must tie it to the story.
Exactly.
The idea is that an audience member will empathise with the MC for one reason or another. As this empathy is established the audience member will see a bit of him or her self in the MC and follow them on the journey in a way that replicates themselves going on the same journey. This makes the viewing experience a personal one for the audience and masks the strategised plot structured around the inner journey.
The unity of action of the MC drives the audience to follow them as they fight against or react to the obstacles in the story of the world.
The unity of action and empathy are the substance of interest for the audience.
Exactly.
The idea is that an audience member will empathise with the MC for one reason or another. As this empathy is established the audience member will see a bit of him or her self in the MC and follow them on the journey in a way that replicates themselves going on the same journey. This makes the viewing experience a personal one for the audience and masks the strategised plot structured around the inner journey.
The unity of action of the MC drives the audience to follow them as they fight against or react to the obstacles in the story of the world.
The unity of action and empathy are the substance of interest for the audience.
Thanks again for your help. That is why I have added the ‘Untrusting’ element, as someone who spends his time learning the secrets and hidden lives of others is going to struggle with his own personal relationships and never have that deep connection with someone as he’ll always be searching for what is under the surface. Something that perhaps with our partners we all wish we could look inside and see what is ticking, but from time to time you have to learn to trust, which is something my character will learn, and in doing so will develop a connection.
Thanks again for your help. That is why I have added the ‘Untrusting’ element, as someone who spends his time learning the secrets and hidden lives of others is going to struggle with his own personal relationships and never have that deep connection with someone as he’ll always be searching for what is under the surface. Something that perhaps with our partners we all wish we could look inside and see what is ticking, but from time to time you have to learn to trust, which is something my character will learn, and in doing so will develop a connection.