Daydream Believer
When a young boy would rather live in his daydreams than face the harsh truth of his bullied school boy existence, his teacher and parents must rescue him before he is lost forever.
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I agree with the thread above but … “reach him before he’s lost forever”, or even “rescue him” as goals are just too vague. It’s not clear what that would entail visually. Does it mean entering his dreams a la Inception, or does it mean sitting with him in a series of psychiatrist sessions? The budgets for the two, and the type of story being told, are so varied, you need to clarify this in your logline.
“When her son becomes catatonic as a result of brutal schoolyard bullying, a (what is your PROTAGONIST’s flaw, not the kid’s flaw) single mother MUST DO THIS TO REVIVE HIM. (Maybe she needs to get money to pay for therapy. Maybe she has to sleep with the twisted but brilliant therapist who is the only one who can get through to her son. Whatever it is, the goal needs to be MUCH more clearly defined.)
Oops, I just re-read my logline, It doesn’t need the word ‘into’ and ‘Lost’ is a stronger word than forever and I should have ended with it.
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“When her son enters a dream state after being bullied, a determined mother must discover a way to reach him before he’s forever lost.”
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I am not quite happy with the word ‘reach’ but can’t think of a better one at the moment.
“When her son enters into a dream state after being bullied, a determine mother must discover a way to reach him before he’s lost forever.”
Valid question Richiev. Either would make a fascinating story. If it is the boy then you could have fun visiting the imaginary worlds almost like “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassuss.” I think I like this better than from the parents perspective, which could become a more serious film. The child character has more latitude to work with since he is making a conscious decision to avoid reality.
I would focus on who the story is mainly about, like the other comment said. Is it about the boy, the teacher, or his parents? If it’s all, maybe make them all the main focus.
I would also put his description of him being a bullied school boy in the beginning, which will shorten it.
“When a bullied school boy would rather live in his daydreams than face the harsh truths of reality, his teacher and parents must rescue him before he is lost forever.”
Something like that maybe?
Is the lead the boy or one of the parents? Just curious