THE TIMELESS
When an undertaker?s lover dies, he decides to end his own existence, but makes the surprising discovery that he is apparently immortal.
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The log line doesn’t really tell us much about the film. He finds out he is immortal but then is he still trying to kill himself? Or does he use this as a way to do something else with his life? The irony is there but it doesn’t really tell us that it is going anywhere.
Ditto – you’ve captured the element of irony, but what’s the undertaker’s mission in life now that he knows of the power of immortality? What decision must he make? Is there an antagonist?
And this sounds like a drama/romance type of movie. How about this:
“When an undertaker decides to end his own life he makes the startling discovery that he is immortal. But can he harness the power to bring his lover back to life before her time in purgatory expires?”
This is a good setup for the premise but tells us nothing about your story. In fact, the undertaker finding out he’s immortal when he tries to take his own life can be considered the inciting incident and that’s only 10-15 pages into your script. What happens for the other 80-90 pages?
If you can fill in the blanks for the following logline elements, you’ll have a better draft of your logline:
protag = undertaker
antag = ?
goal = ?
stakes = ?
hook = he’s immortal (?)
Good luck!
I’m hearing the word ‘irony’ bandied around this site a lot, and I’m not actually sure there’s a concise definition of the word or in fact it is necessary for use in log lines. I know Blake Snyder says log lines should have ‘irony’ but I’m not even sure he was using the term correctly. In fact his book way over simplifies the art of screenwriting. Truby nor McKee uses the term at all. NOT all films / stories are ironic, therefore not all log lines need irony.
There are, it seems, 4 variations of the word irony:
‘Verbal irony’ is a disparity of expression and intention: when a speaker says one thing but means another, or when a literal meaning is contrary to its intended effect. An example of this is when someone says “Oh, that’s beautiful”, when what they mean (probably conveyed by their tone) is they find “that” quite ugly.
‘Dramatic irony’ is a disparity of awareness between actor and observer: when words and actions possess significance that the listener or audience understands, but the speaker or character does not, for example when a character says to another “I’ll see you tomorrow!” when the audience (but not the character) knows that the character will die before morning.
‘Situational irony’ is the disparity of intention and result: when the result of an action is contrary to the desired or expected effect. Being “shot with one’s own gun”, or “hoisted with one’s own petard” are popular formulations of the basic idea of situational irony.[this quote needs a citation][dubious ? discuss]
‘Cosmic irony’ is disparity between human desires and the harsh realities of the outside world. By some definitions, situational irony and cosmic irony are not irony at all.
If any form of irony is used in story I would suggest it is dramatic irony, something we know that a character doesn’t – aka ‘superior position’.
Dramatic irony
This type of irony is the device of giving the spectator an item of information that at least one of the characters in the narrative is unaware of (at least consciously), thus placing the audience a step ahead (SUPERIOR POSITION) of at least one of the characters. Dramatic irony has three stages?installation, exploitation, and resolution (often also called preparation, suspension, and resolution)?producing dramatic conflict in what one character relies or appears to rely upon, the contrary of which is known by the audience; sometimes to other characters, to be true. In summary, it means that the reader/watcher/listener knows something that one or more of the characters in the piece is not aware of. (SUPERIOR POSITION)
For example:
In City Lights the audience knows that Charlie Chaplin’s character is not a millionaire, but the blind flower girl (Virginia Cherrill) believes him to be rich.
In North by Northwest, the audience knows that Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) is not Kaplan; Vandamm (James Mason) and his accomplices do not. The audience also knows that Kaplan is a fictitious agent invented by the CIA; Roger (initially) and Vandamm (throughout) do not.
In Oedipus the King, the reader knows that Oedipus himself is the murderer that he is seeking; Oedipus, Creon and Jocasta do not.
In Othello, the audience knows that Desdemona has been faithful to Othello, but Othello does not. The audience also knows that Iago is scheming to bring about Othello’s downfall, a fact hidden from Othello, Desdemona, Cassio and Roderigo.
In The Cask of Amontillado, the reader knows that Montresor is planning on murdering Fortunato, while Fortunato believes they are friends.
In The Truman Show, the viewer is aware that Truman is on a television show, but Truman himself only gradually learns this.
In Romeo and Juliet, the other characters in the cast think Juliet is dead, but the audience knows she only took a sleeping potion.
In Forrest Gump, the audience knows the historical significance of the characters and scenarios Forrest Gump finds himself in, but he often does not.
In The Lion King, Simba goes throughout the film until near its end believing that he was responsible for his father, Mufasa’s, death. However, the audience knows that it was actually Simba’s uncle Scar who killed Mufasa.
FROM: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony
Let’s be clear about how irony is to be used in log-lines as I think the word can be both complex and confusing.
Filmstar, I’m not sure I get your point. Surely you see the irony in a person who works with the dead, wanting to kill himself, but discovering that he can’t- because he is immortal.
But, more importantly, this is a site about loglines, and efforts to correct or recommend corrections to some of them. Cutting and pasting a wiki definition- with ALL of its examples- doesn’t seem to be helping on this particular logline. That discussion is best left for another forum. IMO.
For the record, irony is generally considered a positive trait to include in a logline. It provides the essence of conflict, like someone who cuts and pastes an entire definition of a word, and then says he doesn’t understand it because he can’t define it.
To me, that’s ironic.