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ShadowPenpusher
Posted: February 10, 20132013-02-10T08:46:42+10:00 2013-02-10T08:46:42+10:00In: Public

When Ex-SEAL Trent is drafted by a mysterious women to participate in a 2 day battle to the death against a team of Spetsnaz he must win if he is ever to return to his wife.

DRAFTED

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    2 Reviews

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    1. sharkeatingman
      2013-02-11T02:58:55+10:00Added an answer on February 11, 2013 at 2:58 am

      Good start using “When”; No need for protag name unless famous; “drafted by a mysterious woman” doesn’t show much enough conflict. Try explaining up front about the reason why he has to fight (it invilves seeing his wife again, but why?). Also, the Spetsnaz. Cool word, but no one knows what it is.

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    2. Richiev Singularity
      2013-02-10T09:26:04+10:00Added an answer on February 10, 2013 at 9:26 am

      What’s spetsnaz? A bottled water company?

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