I saw Karels logline and thought I would try the Logline Generator.
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This logline was a tough one.
You have to understand in the 60s/70s if a girl got pregnant and the boy flaked out and did not marry her, she would be sent away for 9 months until she had her baby.
But really, the lead character’s plan was to pretend to be pregnant so that when she was ‘sent to her aunts’ she would really go to her art school.
This is because her overprotective Father told her that she was too weird and would get in trouble in New York.
However, I am not sure how well the translated to being an understandable logline.
-New Waterford Girl-
From the logline, I get the impression that the quirky high schooler will spend the majority of the film plotting ways to convince her family that she’s pregnant – and what I would be more interested in are the other aspects of the story. 1960’s Small Town, America and the sheltered misfit manufactures a scandal – which illustrates perfectly her current place in life. It’s a dramatic, artistic approach to a hopeless conundrum. I’d like to see this movie – but maybe not if the focus is on convincing her dad that she’s pregnant, if that makes sense.
It’s a good start. You could include a reference to “sexist male dominated culture of the sixties” in the longline. If the character arc you want to show includes the protagonist becoming more self motivated, grounded, etc, then we would need to understand better the stakes of her failure to take this action. Like, if she doesn’t tell this lie, she will be married off in an arranged marriage, and lose her one chance at pursuing her life dream of being an artist. Or you could make it more interesting perhaps by making the aunt be “in” on her scheme. The aunt may be a mentor figure who herself has missed out on her dreams in life, perhaps the only person who believes in the protagonist and demonstrates unconditional love. The aunt can achieve joy in life, despite her own life regrets, by helping the protagonist and covering for her with her overprotective family.