Angel from hell
“When a daughter witness a murder, the father from the top of the Hells Angels must protect her until the trial.”
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Is your protagonist the daughter or the President of the Hell’s Angels? (He’s the only one with a compelling action in your current logline). Who must he protect his daughter from? How about indicating some character flaws?
Is your protagonist the daughter or the President of the Hell’s Angels? (He’s the only one with a compelling action in your current logline). Who must he protect his daughter from? How about indicating some character flaws?
I think Richiev’s suggestion is on the right track. Each logline element should contribute to the dramatic tension of the story. A father needing to protect his daughter — there’s no inherent conflict, no dramatic tension in that act. What father wouldn’t try to protect his daughter — even a Hell’s Angel father?
There is dramatic tension in protecting his daughter only if it brings the father into conflict with some other relationship or loyalty or urgent need. As well as puts his own life in mortal danger: trying to save his daughter may get him killed.
I think Richiev’s suggestion is on the right track. Each logline element should contribute to the dramatic tension of the story. A father needing to protect his daughter — there’s no inherent conflict, no dramatic tension in that act. What father wouldn’t try to protect his daughter — even a Hell’s Angel father?
There is dramatic tension in protecting his daughter only if it brings the father into conflict with some other relationship or loyalty or urgent need. As well as puts his own life in mortal danger: trying to save his daughter may get him killed.
I almost have to agree with elizabethban..trying to film the HA’s by itself would probably get you hurt..they don’t like it. Second, for them to still exist today says something about our society.
With that said, even the daughter thing trying to make it out just won’t interest younger kids today and I think you’ll have a very hard time selling it.
“..when 3 ex-Hell’s Angels take on a protection assignment for cash, it’s them who need the protection. (from a baby..its a comedy)
“..when an ex-Hell’s Angel takes on a protection assignment for a mayor, the one with the most money in town doesn’t agree. (action, thriller…like RoadHouse)
My two cents, not worth two cents.
Curbs
I almost have to agree with elizabethban..trying to film the HA’s by itself would probably get you hurt..they don’t like it. Second, for them to still exist today says something about our society.
With that said, even the daughter thing trying to make it out just won’t interest younger kids today and I think you’ll have a very hard time selling it.
“..when 3 ex-Hell’s Angels take on a protection assignment for cash, it’s them who need the protection. (from a baby..its a comedy)
“..when an ex-Hell’s Angel takes on a protection assignment for a mayor, the one with the most money in town doesn’t agree. (action, thriller…like RoadHouse)
My two cents, not worth two cents.
Curbs
I still don’t see why I would want to see this film. There are too many of them around. What if the ‘loyal Hell’s Angel must make a choice whether to leave the group to save his daughter?” It becomes a father – daughter movie and you can go anywhere you want with it.
I still don’t see why I would want to see this film. There are too many of them around. What if the ‘loyal Hell’s Angel must make a choice whether to leave the group to save his daughter?” It becomes a father – daughter movie and you can go anywhere you want with it.
“When his daughter witnesses a murder, a loyal Hells Angel must protect her from his own gang until she makes the key testimony in the trial.”
“When his daughter witnesses a murder, a loyal Hells Angel must protect her from his own gang until she makes the key testimony in the trial.”
Maybe this one:
“When the daughter of a Hells Angels president becomes the lead witness in a murder he is forced to protect her from the most deadly organisation there is- his own”
Maybe this one:
“When the daughter of a Hells Angels president becomes the lead witness in a murder he is forced to protect her from the most deadly organisation there is- his own”
My thought was a Hells Angels, and that a corrupt police.
Does this one works better?
When a daughter witness a murder, a father needs to protect her from his former Hells Angels gang until the trial.
My thought was a Hells Angels, and that a corrupt police.
Does this one works better?
When a daughter witness a murder, a father needs to protect her from his former Hells Angels gang until the trial.
Protect against who? Who is the antagonist? Doesn’t a trial mean that there is already a murder suspect in custody? So why is her life in jeopardy now and from whom?
Protect against who? Who is the antagonist? Doesn’t a trial mean that there is already a murder suspect in custody? So why is her life in jeopardy now and from whom?
“When the daughter witness the murder of his mother, a father…”
——
This is confusing, there has to be a better way to say it.
Is ‘the daughter’ his daughter, as a result she witnessed her grandmothers murder? (His mother would be her grandmother)
I am trying to decipher who’s who.
“When the daughter witness the murder of his mother, a father…”
——
This is confusing, there has to be a better way to say it.
Is ‘the daughter’ his daughter, as a result she witnessed her grandmothers murder? (His mother would be her grandmother)
I am trying to decipher who’s who.