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insomniatheatre
Posted: December 6, 20142014-12-06T23:56:09+10:00 2014-12-06T23:56:09+10:00In: Public

“When a daughter witness a murder, the father from the top of the Hells Angels must protect her until the trial.”

Angel from hell

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    18 Reviews

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    1. Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
      2014-12-10T13:35:28+10:00Added an answer on December 10, 2014 at 1:35 pm

      Is your protagonist the daughter or the President of the Hell’s Angels? (He’s the only one with a compelling action in your current logline). Who must he protect his daughter from? How about indicating some character flaws?

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    2. Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
      2014-12-10T13:35:28+10:00Added an answer on December 10, 2014 at 1:35 pm

      Is your protagonist the daughter or the President of the Hell’s Angels? (He’s the only one with a compelling action in your current logline). Who must he protect his daughter from? How about indicating some character flaws?

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2014-12-09T06:53:23+10:00Added an answer on December 9, 2014 at 6:53 am

      I think Richiev’s suggestion is on the right track. Each logline element should contribute to the dramatic tension of the story. A father needing to protect his daughter — there’s no inherent conflict, no dramatic tension in that act. What father wouldn’t try to protect his daughter — even a Hell’s Angel father?

      There is dramatic tension in protecting his daughter only if it brings the father into conflict with some other relationship or loyalty or urgent need. As well as puts his own life in mortal danger: trying to save his daughter may get him killed.

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    4. dpg Singularity
      2014-12-09T06:53:23+10:00Added an answer on December 9, 2014 at 6:53 am

      I think Richiev’s suggestion is on the right track. Each logline element should contribute to the dramatic tension of the story. A father needing to protect his daughter — there’s no inherent conflict, no dramatic tension in that act. What father wouldn’t try to protect his daughter — even a Hell’s Angel father?

      There is dramatic tension in protecting his daughter only if it brings the father into conflict with some other relationship or loyalty or urgent need. As well as puts his own life in mortal danger: trying to save his daughter may get him killed.

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    5. Donn Curbow Penpusher
      2014-12-08T20:31:50+10:00Added an answer on December 8, 2014 at 8:31 pm

      I almost have to agree with elizabethban..trying to film the HA’s by itself would probably get you hurt..they don’t like it. Second, for them to still exist today says something about our society.

      With that said, even the daughter thing trying to make it out just won’t interest younger kids today and I think you’ll have a very hard time selling it.

      “..when 3 ex-Hell’s Angels take on a protection assignment for cash, it’s them who need the protection. (from a baby..its a comedy)

      “..when an ex-Hell’s Angel takes on a protection assignment for a mayor, the one with the most money in town doesn’t agree. (action, thriller…like RoadHouse)

      My two cents, not worth two cents.
      Curbs

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    6. Donn Curbow Penpusher
      2014-12-08T20:31:50+10:00Added an answer on December 8, 2014 at 8:31 pm

      I almost have to agree with elizabethban..trying to film the HA’s by itself would probably get you hurt..they don’t like it. Second, for them to still exist today says something about our society.

      With that said, even the daughter thing trying to make it out just won’t interest younger kids today and I think you’ll have a very hard time selling it.

      “..when 3 ex-Hell’s Angels take on a protection assignment for cash, it’s them who need the protection. (from a baby..its a comedy)

      “..when an ex-Hell’s Angel takes on a protection assignment for a mayor, the one with the most money in town doesn’t agree. (action, thriller…like RoadHouse)

      My two cents, not worth two cents.
      Curbs

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    7. 2014-12-08T16:58:11+10:00Added an answer on December 8, 2014 at 4:58 pm

      I still don’t see why I would want to see this film. There are too many of them around. What if the ‘loyal Hell’s Angel must make a choice whether to leave the group to save his daughter?” It becomes a father – daughter movie and you can go anywhere you want with it.

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    8. 2014-12-08T16:58:11+10:00Added an answer on December 8, 2014 at 4:58 pm

      I still don’t see why I would want to see this film. There are too many of them around. What if the ‘loyal Hell’s Angel must make a choice whether to leave the group to save his daughter?” It becomes a father – daughter movie and you can go anywhere you want with it.

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    9. Richiev Singularity
      2014-12-08T10:16:20+10:00Added an answer on December 8, 2014 at 10:16 am

      “When his daughter witnesses a murder, a loyal Hells Angel must protect her from his own gang until she makes the key testimony in the trial.”

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    10. Richiev Singularity
      2014-12-08T10:16:20+10:00Added an answer on December 8, 2014 at 10:16 am

      “When his daughter witnesses a murder, a loyal Hells Angel must protect her from his own gang until she makes the key testimony in the trial.”

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    11. insomniatheatre
      2014-12-08T04:02:30+10:00Added an answer on December 8, 2014 at 4:02 am

      Maybe this one:

      “When the daughter of a Hells Angels president becomes the lead witness in a murder he is forced to protect her from the most deadly organisation there is- his own”

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    12. insomniatheatre
      2014-12-08T04:02:30+10:00Added an answer on December 8, 2014 at 4:02 am

      Maybe this one:

      “When the daughter of a Hells Angels president becomes the lead witness in a murder he is forced to protect her from the most deadly organisation there is- his own”

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    13. insomniatheatre
      2014-12-08T01:08:01+10:00Added an answer on December 8, 2014 at 1:08 am

      My thought was a Hells Angels, and that a corrupt police.

      Does this one works better?

      When a daughter witness a murder, a father needs to protect her from his former Hells Angels gang until the trial.

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    14. insomniatheatre
      2014-12-08T01:08:01+10:00Added an answer on December 8, 2014 at 1:08 am

      My thought was a Hells Angels, and that a corrupt police.

      Does this one works better?

      When a daughter witness a murder, a father needs to protect her from his former Hells Angels gang until the trial.

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    15. dpg Singularity
      2014-12-07T22:45:31+10:00Added an answer on December 7, 2014 at 10:45 pm

      Protect against who? Who is the antagonist? Doesn’t a trial mean that there is already a murder suspect in custody? So why is her life in jeopardy now and from whom?

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    16. dpg Singularity
      2014-12-07T22:45:31+10:00Added an answer on December 7, 2014 at 10:45 pm

      Protect against who? Who is the antagonist? Doesn’t a trial mean that there is already a murder suspect in custody? So why is her life in jeopardy now and from whom?

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    17. Richiev Singularity
      2014-12-07T06:37:59+10:00Added an answer on December 7, 2014 at 6:37 am

      “When the daughter witness the murder of his mother, a father…”
      ——
      This is confusing, there has to be a better way to say it.

      Is ‘the daughter’ his daughter, as a result she witnessed her grandmothers murder? (His mother would be her grandmother)

      I am trying to decipher who’s who.

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    18. Richiev Singularity
      2014-12-07T06:37:59+10:00Added an answer on December 7, 2014 at 6:37 am

      “When the daughter witness the murder of his mother, a father…”
      ——
      This is confusing, there has to be a better way to say it.

      Is ‘the daughter’ his daughter, as a result she witnessed her grandmothers murder? (His mother would be her grandmother)

      I am trying to decipher who’s who.

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