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mmckean
Posted: February 18, 20132013-02-18T03:46:18+10:00 2013-02-18T03:46:18+10:00In: Public

While on his first assignment covering a string of alleged UFO abductions, a tabloid journalist stumbles on what could be the story that makes his career when he discovers Point of Interest 9 ? One of nine mysterious mansions that have sprang up across the globe over night.

No Way Back (TV SERIES) HOW ABOUT THIS, GUYS?

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    10 Reviews

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    1. tgroves Penpusher
      2013-02-18T06:22:42+10:00Added an answer on February 18, 2013 at 6:22 am

      Good start, needs more of a hook maybe?

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    2. Richiev Singularity
      2013-02-18T06:28:00+10:00Added an answer on February 18, 2013 at 6:28 am

      Is this already written or are you testing the premise?

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    3. 2013-02-18T06:35:04+10:00Added an answer on February 18, 2013 at 6:35 am

      Since this is for a television series, the logline should contain the protagonist’s overall series goal, the dramatic essence of the story. This is always an internal conflict, something simple yet can spring a multitude of dramatic situations, that sells the audience on what to expect from five seasons of TV.

      What you have here feels like the logline for the pilot episode and maybe one season at best, and not something that could sustain the life of a series.

      From a single episode or single season perspective, I’m intrigued by the logline. Maybe throw in an adjective for the protagonist so the audience can get a better sense of who the protagonist is instead of just a ‘tabloid journalist’.

      Example Breaking Bad :

      When a high school chemistry teacher, struggling to financially make ends meet, is diagnosed with cancer and health insurance that wont cover the cost of treatment, he turns to selling drugs and cooking crystal meth to secure a financial future for his family.?

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    4. mmckean
      2013-02-18T06:35:26+10:00Added an answer on February 18, 2013 at 6:35 am

      already written

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    5. Cameron Pattison
      2013-02-18T06:46:06+10:00Added an answer on February 18, 2013 at 6:46 am

      Is this the logline for the pilot or the series? What you have here feels like it’s either for a pilot or a season. Since this is for TV you should be selling your audience on the overall series, this is always an internal conflict, something that is almost impossible for the protagonist to resolve that can span five to seven seasons of TV. Maybe throw in an adjective for the protagonist so the audience gets a better since of who he/she is instead of just ‘tabloid journalist’.

      If you look at the logline of any T.V show, the series loglines have broad goals that can span many seasons.

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    6. Richiev Singularity
      2013-02-18T06:50:00+10:00Added an answer on February 18, 2013 at 6:50 am

      There are so much to the story it’s hard to narrow down a logine 🙂

      1) I would start with your first line, “While on his first assignment” I would change to “Rookie”

      “When a rookie tabloid journalist is sent to investigate a string of UFO abductions…”

      2) I would then cut: “stumbles on what could be the story that makes his career”

      “When a rookie tabloid journalist investigates a string of UFO abductions, he discovers point of interest 9…”

      3) Then I would add something like: “Now he must (Do this) if he if he wants (This)”

      I know that’s vague but I hope it helps.

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    7. mmckean
      2013-02-18T06:54:00+10:00Added an answer on February 18, 2013 at 6:54 am

      Hey Cameron, I’m just writing this log line for a pitch to a network. Im not sure how many seasons I wanted it to last so youve raised a good question. Can you get away with a log line for just the first season? I know there are shows that only last a season so I’m not sure. Most of the season they are going to be trapped in the mansion and also finding some of the missing people (whether alive or dead).

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    8. mmckean
      2013-02-18T06:55:22+10:00Added an answer on February 18, 2013 at 6:55 am

      Wow, Richiev, that is an amazing idea! I hope you don’t mind if I steal that because I might just do some filling in since I think that is exactly what it needs 🙂

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    9. Richiev Singularity
      2013-02-18T06:58:06+10:00Added an answer on February 18, 2013 at 6:58 am

      Steal away, besides I was just taking what you wrote and narrowing it down a bit.

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    10. Cameron Pattison
      2013-02-18T07:14:28+10:00Added an answer on February 18, 2013 at 7:14 am

      If you are going to be pitching it, you really need an entire series logline because a network will want to know it has the potential for 5 to 7 seasons as that don’t want to invest if it will only last a single season. Unless it’s a mini-series for the likes of HBO.

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