Posted: 2013-07-12T18:47:51+10:00 In:

Whilst the rest of the world begins to lose their memories. A sole teenager starts to learn things about the world that they had never dreamed of.

Catalyst

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    3 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      Hi

      It’d be good if you could tell us in your log line what the result of this new found knowledge is.

      The questions that spring to mind are:

      Does the teenager use the knowledge to stop the demise of human memory, does he use it for good, for evil? I imagine they don’t just absorb this new knowledge without acting – that would make for a very passive hero.

      Why is everyone losing their memory – is it evolutionary or a result of some mass conspiracy? Why does the teenager not lose their memory?

      When you say they learn things they’ve never dreamed of – good things, bad things? Is this a sci-fi film?

      Perhaps if your log line could address some of these questions it would help.

      When a rebellious teen goes underground from society…
      he/she discovers that…
      and must use the information to…

      this is very rough, just to give you an idea.

      Good luck

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    2. Singularity

      This’s another logline that tells us situation but doesn’t tell us story. The story’s what the lead must do or who’s standing in their way.”

      —–
      “When a young recluse discovers he gains peoples memories while the rest of the world loses them, he must search his brain to discover clues to save the world before he goes insane.”
      —–

      My attempt is still clunky (“Search his brain” isn’t a great action) but if; as he gains the worlds memories, he discovers a series of clues to why this event’s happening, I believe you have a good sci-fi mystery. Possibly even TV show.

      Good luck, hope that helped!

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    3. Penpusher

      Richiev is 100% correct. Tell us what happens in the story, not what the theme is.

      You really need to figure out what the protag’s main goal is and put that in there. Is this an action Sci-fi about saving the world from an evil figure or a sci-fi.thriller where he needs to unlock a mystery?

      If you tell us what his ultimate goal is then the genre becomes way clearer and it makes the story easier to visualize.

      good luck with it

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