The Executor
FilmstarPenpusher
Years after his son?s murder, a bitter gangster-vigilante trains a new recruit, but the young undercover commando is there to take the gang boss down?
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he’s seeking revenge on the gang leader who killed his dad…but the main story is…the vigilante’s obsession with protecting the world is tearing his family apart…
I am ignoring the explanation of the story and just going by the logline (as this is the purpose). This logline is way too busy and confusing. For example, because of the word “but” it feels like the new recruit and young undercover commando are different people. Are they? And is the gangster-vigilante the same person as the gang boss? Or not?
Plus, it sounds very much like a The Departed rip off, just on the basis of the logline. What is unique about your script?
against their common enemy…
the gangster has a moral + psychological revelation, that his actions are not infallible. The kid (who’s fallen in love with the gangster’s daughter) also makes him see he’s pushing what’s left of his family away. They join forces against him…
but there’s an act 3 twist – the kid commando has info (from his father’s encrypted files) about the man who snatched and killed the gangster’s son. Same man who set the gangster up to kill the young commando’s dad. They have a common enemy…
the kid overstays his leave, so becomes AWOL. The police are after him too, which makes the vigilante gangster warm to him even more…he doesn’t find out the kid is there to kill him until the Act 2 climax – his all is lost moment – the kid he hoped was his new leader, his son and heir, is there to take him down…
Neither are cops. The young commando, his dad was an ex royal marine working undercover for an anti-child trafficking NGO when the vigilante killed him. 5 years later, his son, on post-operation leave from a six month tour of Afghanistan, infiltrates his gang to get his revenge. But the hero of the story is the gangland vigilante. He learns his actions have been unjust.
“Years after his son?s murder, a bitter gangster-vigilante trains a new recruit, but the young undercover cop is there to take the gang boss down”
The young undercover cop I believe works better, specially if he is following in his fathers footsteps (cop) is he just doing his job or is he seeking revenge on the gang leader?