The Executor
FilmstarPenpusher
Years after his son's murder an obsessed vigilante trains a new recruit to continue his work but discovers the kid he's chosen is an AWOL commando on a revenge mission to take him down…
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“Years after his son’s murder”: the reader may ask “what took him so long?”
I can see that he has been a vigilante ever since and only now things go wrong.
The story is really about a vigilante finding out he is training his worst enemy. It sounds like TRAINING DAY in reverse, from the POV of the trainER, not the trainEE.
This logline effectively only gives us an inciting incident: the hero REALISES he’s training his worst enemy.
Now what?
The obvious answer is: he’s going to try to stay alive and eliminate the commando. But that’s pretty vague. How? What makes this story interesting?
We need to have an idea of what is going to happen in the movie, particularly Act Two.
Thanks Karl, for your feedback.