Categories: Public
After years of grieving and loneliness, an ex-luchador who has lost his wife and children in a mysterious accident becomes aware of his still alive children. But he has to fight the most horrible human trafficking ring to save them.
Does this work?
"A retired luchador must elude American border patrols and crack a lethal human trafficking ring to recover his lost daughter."
or, alternately,
"A retired luchador must crack a lethal human trafficking ring and elude American border patrols to recover his lost daughter."
Just depending on which threat is actually seen as more dangerous, and in what order things may happen.
I must say, I really like this one.
thank you Hillary, nice advice.
Maybe even, Retired Luchador
I like how you upped the stakes with the daughter.
Intriguing concept. I realise it is not a logline but producers/directors read loglines before a synopsis.
When an ex-luchador discovers his runaway daughter has been forced into prostitution, he fights a human trafficking ring to rescue her.
Tempted to add: "in the United States". It increase the word count, but it also increases the difficulty facing the luchador: he's got to get across the border before he can begin to battle the traffickers.
I think the premise has promise. Luchadores are popular figures in Latin America. In sports, they are fighters in the ring; in folklore, they are fighters for the downtrodden. And human trafficking is a very real, very serious problem.
When an ex-luchador discovers his runaway daughter has been forced into prostitution, he fights a human trafficking ring to rescue her.
Tempted to add: "in the United States". It increase the word count, but it also increases the difficulty facing the luchador: he's got to get across the border before he can begin to battle the traffickers.
I think the premise has promise. Luchadores are popular figures in Latin America. In sports, they are fighters in the ring; in folklore, they are fighters for the downtrodden. And human trafficking is a very real, very serious problem.
"When a former luchador discovers his estranged daughter's in danger, he must fight a human trafficking ring in order to save her."
Even if it's a completed story and there's no script for it yet, you can still write a logline using the format that B8C outlined for you.
Perhaps something like:
Major Event: His wife dies and children go missing
Hero: A grieving Mexican luchador
Main action: Find his children and break up the biggest human trafficking ring in Mexico.
Example logline:
After his wife dies and his children go missing, a grieving Mexican luchador must find his children and break up the biggest human trafficking ring in Mexico.
I know there are some points missing, but just to give you an idea of how you can boil it down to its core elements.
The reason for this website is to write, post and critique loglines, not completed stories.
