A dedicated doctor’s shameful secret endangers his family.

by woodssw · Penpusher · 20 pts 1,063 views

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Mortal Secrets

4 reviews

sharkeatingman · Maestro · 3,435 pts

Woodssw- the goal; protecting his family...from what? You have room for ten more words before you start running into trouble. I'd use them to let us know the danger (stakes), and either the secret or the reason for the grudge- or both.

Geno Scala- sharkeatingman; judge

woodssw · Penpusher · 20 pts

Better? A dedicated doctor must protect his family and his compromising secret from a maverick corporate spy who's carrying a grudge.

Former member · 114,968 pts

Better? A dedicated doctor must protect his family and his compromising secret from a maverick corporate spy who's carrying a grudge.

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