A girl is pulled over by the police officer who raped her mother 5 years ago. Out of sheer panic she tries to escape.

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6 reviews

Agreed with Richiev - you've presented a scene. Without knowing much about your intended storyline:

"Amanda, a small town teenager, fights for her life when she crosses paths with her mother's rapist who hides behind the badge."

Best to identify protagonist by name, present the tension, reveal the antagonist, and perhaps add the time/location, if important, and an extra layer of tension created by a deadline (the ticking time bomb).

Thanks a lot, your comments are verry helpful.
This is indead the first scene. I will work on getting the entire story in the logline.

Sounds like a great set up for a revenge film to me! Maybe work on getting something like that in the logline?

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