Categories: War
Re: becomes the most respected, effective and feared unit in the Pacific Theater...
As currently written, the logline gives away the ending, something a logline is not supposed to do. A logline should set up the dramatic problem, but not tip its hand about the resolution.
"The Old Bastards" might be a good title for the project. But how the division --and movie-- earns that title is a question to be raised, not answered in the logline.
If it's based on real historical events, that element needs to be incorporated into the logline; to wit, this is story is based upon strange but true events.
Thank you so much!
Gotcha! So like a miniseries like Band of Brothers or The Pacific? That sounds like I really cool idea!
Even for a series or a miniseries though, it still needs to hint at the conflict. Try tweaking it slightly. For example:
Dismissed as too old to fight, a guinea pig division of middle-aged draftees endures brutal training and five grueling island campaigns, transforming into the feared and respected “Old Bastards” of the Pacific Theater.
Thanks for your input, Nick. I hear what you are saying and I have struggled with trying to narrow the focus of this story. But the tale is a 4-year epic wherein these guinea pigs surpassed all expectations. They were trained for over two years and they fought in 5 island campaigns where the challenges got more and more insurmountable. The US Marines gave them two nicknames after fighting in the liberation of Guam together, The Old Bastards and the 77th Marine Division.
So being unschooled in the process and audacious in my dreams, I see this as a multi-part streaming drama!
It’s got potential, but (and I’m assuming that this is meant to be a feature film), it needs to get more specific. Take the film The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare as an example.
It’s inspired by the true story of how Winston Churchill recruits a small group of well trained, albeit unorthodox soldiers who essentially serve as the precursor to modern day special forces.
But, the film narrows its focus by honing in on a key mission to infiltrate a neutral Spanish-controlled island and steal Axis ships from an international harbor while avoiding international fallout. You need to do the same.
So in your logline, focus on a key mission that earned this group the name “The Old Bastards”. Your logline should focus on the mission’s main objective as well as the insurmountable odds that the team is up against and has to overcome. As it’s currently written, the stakes are nonexistent.
Overall though, it does sound like a great film! 🙂
