A high school outcast in the shadow of his best friend falls in love with his best friend’s lover.
Categories: Drama
4 reviews
A good idea for a story, but the logline needs just a little more to catch the reader.
The logline sets up an interesting situation, one a lot of young people (the multitude of outsiders, wannabes) can identify with. ?And a major obstacle is clear enough to me: ?his best friend. ?He will have to risk losing his best, maybe only, friend in order to win her affection.
What is lacking to complete the logline is an objective goal, a clearly stated game plan to win her affection. ?The logline sets up the 1st Act., but not the 2nd Act. ?What is the through line for the 2nd Act? ?What is his game plan?
I give the concept a thumbs up -- but it needs work.
The logline sets up an interesting situation, one a lot of young people (the multitude of outsiders, wannabes) can identify with. ?And a major obstacle is clear enough to me: ?his best friend. ?He will have to risk losing his best, maybe only, friend in order to win her affection.
What is lacking to complete the logline is an objective goal, a clearly stated game plan to win her affection. ?The logline sets up the 1st Act., but not the 2nd Act. ?What is the through line for the 2nd Act? ?What is his game plan?
I give the concept a thumbs up -- but it needs work.