A hometown bound 60 year old veteran is forced to reunite with his family across stranger seas. Right when he is about to leave behind his home, he finds companionship in his 30 year old neighbor. But when the inevitable D day arrives, he must lose one family to gain another.

Agreed with the above, study the guidelines in the 'Formula' tab on the top bar and re draft it.

A few good starting points:

What is the MC's character flaw?

What specifically MUST the MC achieve?

What motivates the MC to achieve his goal?

Agree with the others. ?At 51 words, this is too long for a logline. ?If you had to pitch the story as a twitter -- and only 1 twitter -- what would that twitter say?

Agree with the others. ?At 51 words, this is too long for a logline. ?If you had to pitch the story as a twitter -- and only 1 twitter -- what would that twitter say?