by robertmisirian · Penpusher · 20 pts
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Categories: Fantasy
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Good observations by the others.? And Richiev's suggested logline points to what I think is a principal problem, the lack of a plot with a character arc.? In the original logline, she's cast down to earth and then what follows seems to be episodic:? Protect the nerd.? Reboot in the next episode.? Protect the nerd again. Reboot, protect the nerd again.? It seems like she's trapped in an endless "Groundhog Day" loop the difference being to no ultimate, overarching thematic purpose.
Well, isn't that the way "The Simpsons" series works?? Nobody learns anything that sticks from one episode to the next and that hasn't deterred it from being the most popular and long running animation series in TV history.? But "The Simpsons" is a comedy series--that's standard issue for the genre? -- and it's hook is that it is also social satire.
Good observations by the others.? And Richiev's suggested logline points to what I think is a principal problem, the lack of a plot with a character arc.? In the original logline, she's cast down to earth and then what follows seems to be episodic:? Protect the nerd.? Reboot in the next episode.? Protect the nerd again. Reboot, protect the nerd again.? It seems like she's trapped in an endless "Groundhog Day" loop the difference being to no ultimate, overarching thematic purpose.
Well, isn't that the way "The Simpsons" series works?? Nobody learns anything that sticks from one episode to the next and that hasn't deterred it from being the most popular and long running animation series in TV history.? But "The Simpsons" is a comedy series--that's standard issue for the genre? -- and it's hook is that it is also social satire.
Here would be an example of a script where the lead has a goal and there is something at stake:
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"When she is banished to this dimension by an evil goblin warlord, a pugnacious princess must protect a genius science nerd who is the only one who can reopen the gateway between worlds, and return her to her former kingdom."
