thank you for your review, and yes it would?a journey for the shape shifter who has discovered that she can shift through a trumatic experience. Putting that in the logline and confining it to one sentence is quite a challenge, as I am definitely knew at this. ?This idea was born from a dream I had a few years ago and thought it would be interesting to see if I could turn it into a book. You have outlayed an excellent premise as to where my story can go. Thank you.

After a shape shifter discovers she has a transforming power when she saves ?her best friend from being raped, she must convince the village witch doctor who witnesses her conversion of her right to life before he issues orders to have the shape shifter killed.

Catydid52:

Your logline has been rattling around in my skull (a good thing!) because I find the kernel of the premise promising. ?That is, my mind is hooked on the notion of a shape shifting protagonist.

However:

Taking your version at face value, it seems as if the story opens with the protagonist already in full shape shifter mode. ?Her magical ability just magically appears in the 1st Act like a rabbit being pulled out of a hat. ?And then complications ensue.

However, I would like to suggest that it might be more dramatically interesting and emotionally effective if the arc of the plot utilized the paradigm of the "Hero's Journey". ?In that paradigm: Act 1: She discovers her potential to shape shift... ?Act 2: She must learn to use her emergent power well and wisely even as her nascent ability provokes conflict with her nemesis, the witch doctor. ?A conflict which escalates to... Act 3: A life or death struggle High Noon showdown with her nemesis which is the supreme test of her power.

Maybe you have that kind of story arc in mind. ?if so, ?I don't see it reflected in the logline. ?Whatever, my point is that the ?the logline would have stronger appeal if it ?suggested a "Hero's Journey" framework for the plot.

Two excellent examples of this story arc can be found in the origin stories that launched the "Star Wars" and "Harry Potter" franchises. ?The franchises have been so popular and commercially successful because the films aren't just about characters with magical powers. ?The films are about characters who must learn to use their powers they have been gifted with. ?And learn through setbacks and suffering.

fwiw

Catydid52:

Your logline has been rattling around in my skull (a good thing!) because I find the kernel of the premise promising. ?That is, my mind is hooked on the notion of a shape shifting protagonist.

However:

Taking your version at face value, it seems as if the story opens with the protagonist already in full shape shifter mode. ?Her magical ability just magically appears in the 1st Act like a rabbit being pulled out of a hat. ?And then complications ensue.

However, I would like to suggest that it might be more dramatically interesting and emotionally effective if the arc of the plot utilized the paradigm of the "Hero's Journey". ?In that paradigm: Act 1: She discovers her potential to shape shift... ?Act 2: She must learn to use her emergent power well and wisely even as her nascent ability provokes conflict with her nemesis, the witch doctor. ?A conflict which escalates to... Act 3: A life or death struggle High Noon showdown with her nemesis which is the supreme test of her power.

Maybe you have that kind of story arc in mind. ?if so, ?I don't see it reflected in the logline. ?Whatever, my point is that the ?the logline would have stronger appeal if it ?suggested a "Hero's Journey" framework for the plot.

Two excellent examples of this story arc can be found in the origin stories that launched the "Star Wars" and "Harry Potter" franchises. ?The franchises have been so popular and commercially successful because the films aren't just about characters with magical powers. ?The films are about characters who must learn to use their powers they have been gifted with. ?And learn through setbacks and suffering.

fwiw