Categories: Adventure
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Who IS the lead character?? The prime mover in this plot is Bismarck;? Edison seems to be merely an? accessory, an enabler, Otto von's? dupe.
Who IS the lead character?? The prime mover in this plot is Bismarck;? Edison seems to be merely an? accessory, an enabler, Otto von's? dupe.
What is the goal of the lead character? What does the lead character want?
Furtherless, the main action of the plot must logically follow from the inciting incident. I don't see how it must logically follow from Edison's failure that he works for Bismarck. I don't see how that failure is a credible inciting incident.
More logical to me would be an inciting incident where German scientists have failed spectacularly. Bismarck, out of desperation, turns to American scientists to develop what his countrymen can't.
And what hooks Edison into the project (despite the reservations and objections of others) is not just the money -- although he? can't say 'nein' to the millions of marks Bismarck throws his way. The hook is the fame and glory that will accrue to his reputation if he can succeed where everyone else has failed.? Edison's character flaw is not just greed for gain, but also? hubris.
fwiw
Furtherless, the main action of the plot must logically follow from the inciting incident. I don't see how it must logically follow from Edison's failure that he works for Bismarck. I don't see how that failure is a credible inciting incident.
More logical to me would be an inciting incident where German scientists have failed spectacularly. Bismarck, out of desperation, turns to American scientists to develop what his countrymen can't.
And what hooks Edison into the project (despite the reservations and objections of others) is not just the money -- although he? can't say 'nein' to the millions of marks Bismarck throws his way. The hook is the fame and glory that will accrue to his reputation if he can succeed where everyone else has failed.? Edison's character flaw is not just greed for gain, but also? hubris.
fwiw
How is it possible for the people who? are hands-on developing something to not know what it is?
It seems to me? that's like saying that Edison had no idea what he was working on when he was developing the electric light bulb.? Or the? phonograph.? Or the movie camera.? ?He was clueless; they were "mysterious projects".?
Edison & Co. may not know what Bismarck intends to do with what they have developed, but they gotta know what the contrivance? they've worked on can do.
And so must producers and directors.
As Blake Snyder (of "Save the Cat" fame) might say, describing something as a "mysterious project"? amounts to hiding the game ball.
How is it possible for the people who? are hands-on developing something to not know what it is?
It seems to me? that's like saying that Edison had no idea what he was working on when he was developing the electric light bulb.? Or the? phonograph.? Or the movie camera.? ?He was clueless; they were "mysterious projects".?
Edison & Co. may not know what Bismarck intends to do with what they have developed, but they gotta know what the contrivance? they've worked on can do.
And so must producers and directors.
As Blake Snyder (of "Save the Cat" fame) might say, describing something as a "mysterious project"? amounts to hiding the game ball.
>>>a mysterious project
Vague.? ?A "mysterious project" can mean? any one of a 1,000,001 things which is to say it means nothing nothing in? a logline. The target audience for the logline, movie producers, want to know? specifics.? Don't play hide and seek with them.? They want to know what protagonist's objective goal is-- they shouldn't have to guess.
However...
>>>not realizing until too late
Don't give away midpoint discoveries and reversals.? Those are spoilers.? Loglines are about what a protagonist intentionally set out to do, not about the complications he unintentionally discovers along the way.
>>>a mysterious project
Vague.? ?A "mysterious project" can mean? any one of a 1,000,001 things which is to say it means nothing nothing in? a logline. The target audience for the logline, movie producers, want to know? specifics.? Don't play hide and seek with them.? They want to know what protagonist's objective goal is-- they shouldn't have to guess.
However...
>>>not realizing until too late
Don't give away midpoint discoveries and reversals.? Those are spoilers.? Loglines are about what a protagonist intentionally set out to do, not about the complications he unintentionally discovers along the way.
Sounds great. I would see it.
