After her village is massacred, a woman travels to a remote temple to train so she can destroy her enemies and avenge her people.
Categories: Adventure
Categories: Adventure
You've actually got three goals for your hero - to travel, to train, and to avenge. You can have all of those in your story but your logline needs to focus on the primary goal. And, as others have said, tell us what's at stake if the hero fails.
Totally agree with variable and Richiev.
It's pretty close though. Variable makes a valid point about the vengeance angle. If they're all dead then the only thing at stake is her life. Consider, as an alternative, something like she trains then travels to the next village to stop the bad guys destroying another community.
Richiev highlights that calling her simply "woman" gives us the bare minimum to understand this character. You have reduced this character to a gender and that's it. We can already establish that from your use of "her village". Imagine someone referring to you as simply "man" or "woman". Would you not be thinking that you're more than that? Tell us something that makes us understand who she is but remember that it must be relevant to the story.
Hope this helps.
A few specifics will help. But this logline isn't that far off.
"When her village is massacred (By this bad dude/antagonist/Ninja's/evil organization) a (Give us an adjective here) woman travels to a remote (Shaolin/Buddhist/give us a name) temple to train (In the art of this fighting style) so she can face the (specific antagonist) and avenge her people."