Categories: Public
The Sugarcane Rebellion
"...There's a lot going on in this story to cram it all into." is probably the case with most writers and their loglines here and else where. But as mentioned above include in your logline only the bare essentials for the main plot to be understood and no more.
Inciting incident that made the MC of this description need to achieve his clear goal despite the obstacle/antagonist.
If the bare bones of the story work then the reader will understand how complex the epic saga is.
Hope this helps.
The host of this site, Karel Segers, offers a script consultant service.
The host of this site, Karel Segers, offers a script consultant service.
Yep, i've got it sorted. What happened was, in Jamaica after the Spanish lost control of the island to the English in 1655, many of the slaves were either freed or they escaped. Most disappeared into the mountainous interior of Jamaica and lived among the native Arawak people. There were ongoing skirmishes etc with English soldiers but given the terrain and how well they knew the country, they were able to repel attacks and defend their freedom.
My protagonist never leaves Jamaica, he liberates his family and the remaining slaves, then establishes a free community as per the above.
In my script i've focused on character development, dialogue and the flowing of the story. To me it all seems smooth as silk, but i'd like to have someone with industry experience read over it and give me their opinion. Any idea how I can go about this?
>>, but Ghana cant be used because it wasn't known as Ghana at that time
Good catch. "African warrior" should cover it for the purpose of the logline.
The passivity of the protagonist and the others in "12 Years a Slave" bothered me too, but given the historical context, I can understand why most slaves submitted. Slave rebellions were ruthlessly repressed. If slaves managed to overthrow their masters, where could they flee? Where could they find sanctuary to stay free? Getting back to their homelands in Africa was an insuperable obstacle.
But there were a number of rebellions in the U.S. and in Jamaica, as you well know. I worked with a writer on a script based upon a slave rebellion in Florida after the War of 1812. Which, as did they all, came to naught. They won their freedom temporarily only to have no sanctuary to find peace and freedom.
Which is the one big question I have about your story: How do they find passage back to their homeland after they've overthrown their masters? With the ticking clock running: the British would be expected to counterattack fast and furiously. No time to loiter.
But I assume you've got that figured out in a way that is true to the historical period. Best wishes with your story!
>>, but Ghana cant be used because it wasn't known as Ghana at that time
Good catch. "African warrior" should cover it for the purpose of the logline.
The passivity of the protagonist and the others in "12 Years a Slave" bothered me too, but given the historical context, I can understand why most slaves submitted. Slave rebellions were ruthlessly repressed. If slaves managed to overthrow their masters, where could they flee? Where could they find sanctuary to stay free? Getting back to their homelands in Africa was an insuperable obstacle.
But there were a number of rebellions in the U.S. and in Jamaica, as you well know. I worked with a writer on a script based upon a slave rebellion in Florida after the War of 1812. Which, as did they all, came to naught. They won their freedom temporarily only to have no sanctuary to find peace and freedom.
Which is the one big question I have about your story: How do they find passage back to their homeland after they've overthrown their masters? With the ticking clock running: the British would be expected to counterattack fast and furiously. No time to loiter.
But I assume you've got that figured out in a way that is true to the historical period. Best wishes with your story!
