After the arrest of a missionary who lives with him, an ostracized amateur-Christian seeks justice in a fetish cultural island where there is no rule of law.

First, I would up the stakes a bit.

He's trying to save the missionary that lives with him. I would change that to; 'best friend', 'Brother', or someone that we can feel invested in.

Second; you say ostracized which implies at one point he may have been a priest but was kicked out. Therefore I would use the term former priest instead of amateur-christian.

Not sure what fetish-culture-island means. An island where the inhabitants are really turned on by feet??? I would try to clarify some way.

You say the lead seeks justice, He's trying to get a hearing of some sort? It's good that you have added what the lead is trying to do and seeking justice is perfectly acceptable. I was just wondering, because in an island with no rule of law, you would think he would just try to help his friend escape.

Hope that helped, good luck with this

Held prisoner would also work

pastortim:

I never heard of such a creature as an amateur-Christian. And you seem to be applying non-familiar definitions to familiar terms. Consequently, I am unable to make heads or tails of the logline.

One reader's take.

pastortim:

I never heard of such a creature as an amateur-Christian. And you seem to be applying non-familiar definitions to familiar terms. Consequently, I am unable to make heads or tails of the logline.

One reader's take.

Arrest: Verb; Seize (someone) by legal authority and take into custody.

I would use the word 'captured' or 'held against their will' to avoid confusion.

Arrest does not mean legal detention, also mean ?hold back as of an enemy?. The rule of law mean a state of order in which event is conformed to law, but in this community, there was nothing of such kind. That is why I can't say unlawful arrest.

Arrest does not mean legal detention, also mean 'hold back as of an enemy'. The rule of law mean a state of order in which event is conformed to law, but in this community, there was nothing of such kind. That is why I can't say unlawful arrest. Moreover, in such arrest, there could be an inner motive of either for fetish sacrifice or strangers are forbidden to trespass into the community which has no legal backup. It could be a decision of one or two people.

Amateur-Christian is a kind of Christian who has no strong skill, rather whose faith is not as strong as to know much about the rites and ritual according to Christian faith. Fetish culture Island describes that the Island practices fetishism, a belief in magical fetishism.

As dpg pointed out your adjectives are a bit confusing.

Also confusing is; the missionary is arrested then you say there is no rule of law. How is the missionary arrested if there is no rule of law?

clearing that up it would help the logline.

Hope that helped, good luck with this.