After the lawyer’s aide is torture and kill by the 20 policemen—he sues them, and must uncover their leader who order the hit in the underworld of police corrupt bureau.

Mike, Odie

Thanks in advance.

Edit:

In the aftermath of a fraudulent national election, a fiery attorney must seek reprisal to the death of his aide and confidant when he is torture and kill after testifying.

Hi Odie,

Thanks to you and Mike for the comments.

This will surely help everything about my logline.

I will be posting the edited version again.

Much appreciated.

Can always count on Mike for the good stuff, you’re getting there, consider the following:
1. Who is He – “he sues”? In the US, allegations/investigations of election fraud/police corruption have many players: high profile attorneys e.g., “Rudy Giuliani”, FBI, Attorney General, Justice Dept aka DOJ - you get the idea. So, what kind of lawyer is your protag?
2. Concerning “election fraud” are you referring to something local or presidential?
3. Change “After” to “When” meaning the aid is NOW testifying – that’s the trigger for your baddies to ice him.
Formula example:
“In the wake of a fraudulent presidential election, a high profile attorney must [do the ACTION/GOAL] when [a MAJOR EVENT occurs aka the slaying of his aid on or before testifying]"

Keep going!

No problem at all. We're all learning!

Check out my blog - I've done a couple of posts about crafting loglines: lefttowrite.co.uk

Hi Mike,

Thanks again for the insight. I'll take note of this and will rewrite. This help a lot without so much stress when you want some to learn about this craft.

Appreciate much.

At 44 words this is far too wordy and could easily be shortened.

I'm still wondering why the lawyer is suing them - something you surely need some evidence for - when, if you have the evidence, they'd be done for murder.

Trying to find out who is the leader of the corruption racket at the PD is the story.

Why do the police kill the aide? If he's already testified, surely killing him is a little pointless?