After winning the trials, a fiery adolescent girl is prized with becoming the body of a coldhearted AI.

by huh1 · Penpusher · 20 pts 813 views

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3 reviews

Richiev · Oracle · 58,825 pts

From your logline, I can't tell if this is the beginning of the story or the end of your story.

Is the story what happens next and this is just the set-up?
Or does she win the prize... The END

Former member · 114,968 pts

There may be a germ of a great story here, but?I can't?locate it with certainty; ?this logline totally mystifies me.? I have no idea what the plot is supposed to be.? "Winning the trials" -- what trials? "Is prized" -- what is that supposed to mean?? It?isn't even correct English.

The story seems to be about a girl who for one reason or another, by one means or another,? whose own consciousness/cognition is swapped out for?that of an?AI.? If that is so, it sets up a potentially interesting story.? But what is the plot that follows?? What becomes the dramatic question? as a result of the swap?

dogger · Oracle · 88,020 pts

There may be a germ of a great story here, but?I can't?locate it with certainty; ?this logline totally mystifies me.? I have no idea what the plot is supposed to be.? "Winning the trials" -- what trials? "Is prized" -- what is that supposed to mean?? It?isn't even correct English.

The story seems to be about a girl who for one reason or another, by one means or another,? whose own consciousness/cognition is swapped out for?that of an?AI.? If that is so, it sets up a potentially interesting story.? But what is the plot that follows?? What becomes the dramatic question? as a result of the swap?

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