After years of forced thievery under his older brother, a repentant young burglar sets out to make amends with the people he’s wronged.

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5 reviews

Former member · Singularity · 114,968 pts

As others have said. ?

What's the inciting incident? ?Why after all these years, does he do a 180 and decide to amend his wicked ways?

And who/what opposes him? ?Who or what makes it difficult for him to make amends? What are the stakes, the jeopardy he places himself in by making amends?

dogger · Singularity · 87,055 pts

As others have said. ?

What's the inciting incident? ?Why after all these years, does he do a 180 and decide to amend his wicked ways?

And who/what opposes him? ?Who or what makes it difficult for him to make amends? What are the stakes, the jeopardy he places himself in by making amends?

Roberto Alto · Samurai · 535 pts

This sounds promising. It would be more powerful if there was an actual event the triggered it all - not just the brother saying "okay, tired of this..." Maybe it is after an incident that has a direct effect a family losing all their property or something greater. ?"When two?crooks steal their tenth?car, causing a family to unexpectedly lose their home, the guilt-ridden younger brother decides to start a taxi service that offers free rides to the needy." The incident is the mark - it makes everything turn. You can call the screenplay: The Tenth Car.