Desperate to cure her husband’s terminal illness, a young socialite turns to an enigmatic scientist whose treatment works – but leaves the patient with a murderous appetite.

Since you only have 25 words or so -- and fewer seconds -- to grab and hold a reader's attention, I think it is advisable to be more "on the nose" on some details. But, of course, there are no hard and fast rules of how "nosey" to be.

The desired goal of a logline is to hook my interest with a great concept, an irresistable twist. If the "miracle cure" turns the patient into a "murderous psychopath" that keens my curiosity; I want to know more. Where as "murderous appetite" only confuses me.

And I'm still confused.

Since you only have 25 words or so -- and fewer seconds -- to grab and hold a reader's attention, I think it is advisable to be more "on the nose" on some details. But, of course, there are no hard and fast rules of how "nosey" to be.

The desired goal of a logline is to hook my interest with a great concept, an irresistable twist. If the "miracle cure" turns the patient into a "murderous psychopath" that keens my curiosity; I want to know more. Where as "murderous appetite" only confuses me.

And I'm still confused.

I was originally much more specific, to where it was "on the nose." "Murderous appetite" is a euphamism for what his actual cravings become. I also tried more general - using "sinister personality changes," but it didn't feel specific enough. I'd love to hear from more folks, though, whether they feel general is better.