by Cameron Pattison · Showrunner · 1,295 pts
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"Two friends, dressed as cops at a costume party, are mistaken as actual police and sent on the run from the friends of a criminal they are suppose to bring back to the station."
Good concept for a comedy, sounds like you could make a whole lot of hilarious scenes. Good Luck!
Nicholas makes a number of sound points. I might be echoing some of what he says. But, doing my own analysis from the top, my take is:
Firstly, the plot logic of the logline is either dubious or confused, even for a comedy. Two guys being mistaken for cops ... Okay ... They are forced to go on the run ... Mmm, interesting ... Because they took some dangerous crim (under duress, apparently) to a police station ... Huh? Where's the post-incarceration threat coming from exactly? From the crim's grandma?
It's okay to want to present a plot that is quite different from genre norms. But, if you do so, your logline still has to present a scenario that makes apparent sense and that has dramatic potential on the face of it. This logline fails on both of these counts.
Secondly - and some may think this is a quibble - the tone of this film is potentially ambiguous. Granted it comes across as most likely being a comedy, none the less this could be a drama instead. Certainly there could be little funny about being mistaken for cops if the two friends are being pursued along country roads by a bloodthirsty gang. The logline could/should have pinned down the intended tone better.
The plot logic problem is really bad here and it makes it all too easy for a potential producer or investor to dismiss this concept. Which would be a shame if the script happens to be cleverly written.
Steven Fernandez (Judge).
>>>I want to see these two guys FORCED into situations where they must continue posing as cops.
A more interesting predicament than running away from...whatever.
