It’s unexpected “love at first sight” for two outgoing romantics, but despite their mutually acknowledged connection the two unrequited soul mates stand by their current plans and relationships, living the ups and downs of their separate lives, challenged by what might have been, and what, years later, just might be.

daveb:

My motto is: "If you don't fail at least 90% of the time, you're not aiming high enough". -- Alan Kay". (To date, my failure rate is 95%+ ;-)

Hope to have some suggestions to post at your revised logline, when time permits.

daveb:

My motto is: "If you don't fail at least 90% of the time, you're not aiming high enough". -- Alan Kay". (To date, my failure rate is 95%+ ;-)

Hope to have some suggestions to post at your revised logline, when time permits.

dpg: Thanks so much for the feedback. After reading your comments (and a bit of sulking) I realized that you were right, I had a very vague log line. It was because I was trying to cover way too much story rather than sticking to a more traditional romantic comedy format. Anyway I rewrote the log line and posted it here: https://loglines.org/it-was-love-at-first-sight-for-two-outgoing-romantics-years-later-a-chance-encounter-while-on-family-vacations-forces-the-unrequited-soul-mates-to-face-the-same-decision-continue-their-comfortable/#respond

dpg: Thanks so much for the feedback. After reading your comments (and a bit of sulking) I realized that you were right, I had a very vague log line. It was because I was trying to cover way too much story rather than sticking to a more traditional romantic comedy format. Anyway I rewrote the log line and posted it here: https://loglineit.com/it-was-love-at-first-sight-for-two-outgoing-romantics-years-later-a-chance-encounter-while-on-family-vacations-forces-the-unrequited-soul-mates-to-face-the-same-decision-continue-their-comfortable/#respond

daveb:

The premise has potential in that it's trajectory many lovers have gone through in their lives. It's a common human experience.

BUT: that's the reason so many films have already been made on the premise.

SO: Your challenge is to find a hook. What is unique, fresh, original, different in your story that hasn't been dramatized before?

Whatever it is, it should be part of the logline. Loglines are sales tools. And sales is as much or more about the sizzle than the steak.

I'm sorry, I can't be more specific because your logline isn't more specific about premise that covers a vast sweep of the human predicament. There are a 1,000,000+1 potential story lines.

daveb:

The premise has potential in that it's trajectory many lovers have gone through in their lives. It's a common human experience.

BUT: that's the reason so many films have already been made on the premise.

SO: Your challenge is to find a hook. What is unique, fresh, original, different in your story that hasn't been dramatized before?

Whatever it is, it should be part of the logline. Loglines are sales tools. And sales is as much or more about the sizzle than the steak.

I'm sorry, I can't be more specific because your logline isn't more specific about premise that covers a vast sweep of the human predicament. There are a 1,000,000+1 potential story lines.