Louise, a 16-year-old serious girl who thinks she’s not able to love someone, and Elisa, a sensitive girl her age, becomes friends after starting high school. Elise starts her first romantic relationship with Lauren, a pesimistic girl who emotionally depends on her. Suddently, Louise falls in love with Elisa after seeing how she treats her girlfriend.

by Mariola · Logliner · 135 pts 22 views

Categories: , ,

3 reviews

vcaruso · Wordsmith · 363 pts

Strengths Stakes and urgency Specificity Causality and coherence

Needs work Well-defined POV Clear, difficult goal Active protagonist Filmable incident

These reads as circular even thought it's straightforward... girl falls in love with her friend when she see her with another girl. But the "descriptors" seem force as though trying to give them a character just so you had one (just my take)

After starting high school, a guarded teenager who believes she is incapable of love falls for her sensitive new best friend after witnessing the girl’s deeply devoted relationship with an emotionally dependent classmate.

dogger · Oracle · 88,600 pts

Strengths Filmable incident No hedging

Needs work Clear, difficult goal Stakes and urgency Specificity Causality and coherence Concision

And then what?

This sets up an interesting situation and an inciting incident for a possible plot--but what is the plot that follows? What dramatic question is raised that the rest of the plot will (eventually) answer? What becomes Louise's objective goal as a result of falling in love with Lisa? Is there a wedge issue?

Mariola · Logliner · 135 pts

NOTE:
Louise has just got over a "relationship" with a emotionally ausent guy that didn't know if he is ready to love someone. Elisa comes from a family that has always forced her to take care of her young sibling, making her feels she has to help everyone, even thougth she can't do nothing for it

More in Coming of Age

See all →

  1. A mixed-race young girl (half spanish, half senegalaise) builds her own identity after being raised up by two parents with extremely different cultures.

    Mariola · · · 4 reviews · 48 views

    Review now →

  2. A hot- tempered uncle accidentally slaps a nagging woman over an ownership of a compound wall, issue soon spirals into a building-wide sensationalised political circus of gossip, mockery, legalities, and indifference.

    varnan · · · 3 reviews · 14 views

    Review now →

  3. 1

    Two fifteen year old genetically identical girls living in different dimensiosn, realize that they can communicate and interact with each other through their dreams.

    Alexsis12 · · · 2 reviews · 22 views

    Review now →

  4. A 16-year-old ambitious dancer and her boyfriend discover that she is pregnant before her important competition and have to make a decision.

    TaraG · · · 1 review · 24 views

    Review now →

  5. Five young singers from New York took the pop music scene by storm in the 1990s as a boy band, but along the way, they learn the hard lesson about the price of fame.

    N.J.Robins · · · 1 review · 14 views

    Review now →

  6. In 1933 Germany, a time-travelling teenage outsider from 1914 discovers that his daughter has become entangled with a communist terror group. Now, he must infiltrate the organisation to protect her from the dangerous path she’s chosen, all whilst wrestling with the seductive pull of the rising Nazi youth movement.

    lukige_uk · · · 2 reviews · 20 views

    Review now →

Browse all loglines →