The summer of 1978 will change a group of young ghost investigators lives forever — they must solve the mystery at the heart of their rural seaside town and catch a villain with nothing more than their wits and chopper bikes all the while growing together as they grow up.

"Chopper bikes" -- definitely confusing.

Who is the primary ghost hunter (aka: protagonist)?
What's at stake? That is, why must they solve the mystery? What happens if they don't solve the mystery?

"Chopper bikes" -- definitely confusing.

Who is the primary ghost hunter (aka: protagonist)?
What's at stake? That is, why must they solve the mystery? What happens if they don't solve the mystery?

Hi dcjohn

Thanks for pointing that out - I think I am confusing people with the way this is worded so obviously need to rewrite drastically. The choppers I mention are the 1970s push bikes - these are effectively just a gang of kids on their bikes. I was trying to set the context as the 70s has an innocent childhood nostalgia Im trying to capture in this...

It seems like you're burying the lede by holding off mentioning the choppers till the end. If they're a biker gang that investigates ghosts, then why not make that clear right at the initial description of the protagonists.

Elly,that sounds like an interesting idea. Oddly enough, creating a logline can sometimes help solidify a story idea. Good luck!

Hi Richiev, it has definitely helped thank you! This is my first log line and I was really struggling to get myself across I think. I need to define more of my main story (at the moment my secondary plot is more concrete) Somehow I want to tie in a local legend with an escaped prisoner looking for his loot...

Thanks for asking - the feel I am trying to convey is a Goonies type scenario - but more along the mystery solving front. Main inspiration to the characters is The Red Hand Gang..

Thanks Karel - this is my first log line so I appreciate your input. I think I was hoping the log line would help me cement some of the plot you have asked about lol. I do need to nail it down as you're right it does sound too generic. So far the villain has escaped from prison and is hiding out in the town where he stashed his loot. The year was important to me because the kids to want to emulate their favourite tv show of the time - Red Hand Gang. Unfortunately I have more about the B plot and the characters than the A plot right now. Any help is gratefully received!

If you are going to tell us they are going to "Solve a mystery" you should tell us what that mystery is. A missing girl, a murder, the truth behind a seemingly haunted house.
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"After his best friend disappears in a notorious haunted house, a young paranormal investigator and his rag tag friends dare to spend the night in the hell house to solve the mystery."
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We have a lead character, an inciting incident, a goal and something (Spending the night in a haunted house) standing in the way of the goal.

Hope that helped, good luck with this!