Categories: Drama
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As of right now, I currently have the first episode ending in present day NY with Character A as she's listening to a voicemail that was left for her earlier in the day- at first it seems as if the person accidentally called her - butt dial - until she hears a little girl's voice say: "When is mommy coming back?"
"Gaho, a Native American lesbian exiled from her tribe, flees to the city that never sleeps.? Abandoned and alone, she fights to rebuild the life she was forced to leave behind."
Is that logline any better?
Could you also please send me the name of your book?? :)
Mil:
As I said, I think you have an interesting character combined with an dramatically compelling predicament, key ingredients for a successful series.? (BTW:? what tribe have you decided to associate her with? That you intend to dispatch her to New York City suggests one of the eastern tribes.)
I suggest focusing on the logline for the pilot episode.? Because that is the make or break episode for selling the series to the network.? They want to read a script for a pilot episode gripping enough to hook a large audience's attention and make them want to tune in next week to see what happens next.
In my book, a gold standard pilot episode is the one for "Breaking Bad".? I? highly recommend it for studying.? A logline for the pilot episode could be : When a? milquetoast? (character flaw) chemistry teacher is diagnosed with terminal cancer (inciting incident), he starts cooking crystal meth to provide for his family after his death (objective goal).
All the wild? plot developments, crazy characters, and complications? for the critically acclaimed, popular series flow from what Walter White decides to do as a result of that inciting incident.
A suggestion: why not develop the pilot episode (and logline) around her "character flaw" (in the context of her culture -- I don't mean that pejoratively; I'm using the term generically to define the primary source of her conflict with her tribe) and the inciting incident that sends her fleeing the reservation.? The episode ends with the cliff hanger beat of her fleeing the reservation.? We know she's headed for the Big Apple.? What happens next? How will a country girl survive on the mean streets of the city?? How will she solve all the problems created by her pregnancy?
Tune in next week to find out.
I know I would want to tune in next week to find out. Best wishes with your story.
fwiw
Mil:
As I said, I think you have an interesting character combined with an dramatically compelling predicament, key ingredients for a successful series.? (BTW:? what tribe have you decided to associate her with? That you intend to dispatch her to New York City suggests one of the eastern tribes.)
I suggest focusing on the logline for the pilot episode.? Because that is the make or break episode for selling the series to the network.? They want to read a script for a pilot episode gripping enough to hook a large audience's attention and make them want to tune in next week to see what happens next.
In my book, a gold standard pilot episode is the one for "Breaking Bad".? I? highly recommend it for studying.? A logline for the pilot episode could be : When a? milquetoast? (character flaw) chemistry teacher is diagnosed with terminal cancer (inciting incident), he starts cooking crystal meth to provide for his family after his death (objective goal).
All the wild? plot developments, crazy characters, and complications? for the critically acclaimed, popular series flow from what Walter White decides to do as a result of that inciting incident.
A suggestion: why not develop the pilot episode (and logline) around her "character flaw" (in the context of her culture -- I don't mean that pejoratively; I'm using the term generically to define the primary source of her conflict with her tribe) and the inciting incident that sends her fleeing the reservation.? The episode ends with the cliff hanger beat of her fleeing the reservation.? We know she's headed for the Big Apple.? What happens next? How will a country girl survive on the mean streets of the city?? How will she solve all the problems created by her pregnancy?
Tune in next week to find out.
I know I would want to tune in next week to find out. Best wishes with your story.
fwiw