Categories: Thriller
The reason I am struggling with setting is the technology. WW2 affords the luxury of no mobile phones, no internet. It is easier to keep him in the dark.
From McGuffin POV it might be possible (tricky but possible) to have the audience learn what he knows as he figures out what people are digging for.
Hello,
the concept is interesting but you have to make some creative decisions - is it ww2 or not? It's an important detail.
Then, find your true inciting event.
Since the movie begins when the man wakes up, this can't be the inciting event, this is the the initial situation, the set up. The first ten pages would be about a man waking up from coma with a peculiar amnesia, but then... what happens? What put the story in motion? That would be your true inciting incident.
Or you can start with the soldier in war, fighting hard and being touched by a bullet in the head. In this case the inciting event would be the waking up in amnesia.
Maybe the main character is a spy: this can suggest a 'scam' attitude, a world where things are rarely what they appears to be. He can wake up in a neutral territory, like Iran. In 1943 Theran was full of spys because of a very important conference. In this context an elaborate scam to get informations from a captured spy is perfectly believable. Or it's believable that a mentally ingjured spy can be extremely suspicious about everything around him.
Go write this movie!:)
Better if you were to clarify what is at stake, without the specifics of your story it sounds like a generic mind game movie.
For example, what if he was an ally soldier and knew the location of an A-bomb, he must tell someone where the bomb is but if he tells the wrong people it could spell disaster.
I.e:
After waking from a three year coma with acute amnesia, the only thing a paranoid soldier remembers is the secret location of an A-bomb, he must discern whether or not he is among enemies or friends.
Goal - disarm the bomb
Flaw - paranoia
Obstacle - amnesia
So far, it seems to me you have a situation in search of a plot. ?Which is okay when you're still brainstorming the concept.
If you use narrative strategy #2, then the Big Reveal has got to be a whopper. ?(Like the one at the end of "The Sixth Sense".) Not that it would be part of the logline, of course, but do you have one in mind?
What unique?skill?or knowledge would a soldier, a mere government issued grunt, have that would justify such an elaborate scheme? ?What if, instead, he were a spy for the good guys. ?But the bad guys could?use the "amnesia" to persuade him that he was really a double-agent and now they want to debrief him about a specific operation to obtain crucial information.
And then what's the McGuffin, the crucial information they want from him? ?Again, it's got to be something that justifies such an elaborate scheme. ? I think the logline needs to be more particular on that point. ?Not that it would be revealed in a logline, of course, but do you have a McGuffin?
fwiw
So far, it seems to me you have a situation in search of a plot. ?Which is okay when you're still brainstorming the concept.
If you use narrative strategy #2, then the Big Reveal has got to be a whopper. ?(Like the one at the end of "The Sixth Sense".) Not that it would be part of the logline, of course, but do you have one in mind?
What unique?skill?or knowledge would a soldier, a mere government issued grunt, have that would justify such an elaborate scheme? ?What if, instead, he were a spy for the good guys. ?But the bad guys could?use the "amnesia" to persuade him that he was really a double-agent and now they want to debrief him about a specific operation to obtain crucial information.
And then what's the McGuffin, the crucial information they want from him? ?Again, it's got to be something that justifies such an elaborate scheme. ? I think the logline needs to be more particular on that point. ?Not that it would be revealed in a logline, of course, but do you have a McGuffin?
fwiw
1) he begins to like the life he sees, but is suspicious. He is torn and has mixed emotions.
2) he is suspicious the entire time and tries to do a double bluff back on them which makes him appear paranoid.
In 1 audience knows what is happening
In 2 audience is with him learning as it goes.
iPhone on train -forgive typos
I agree with Nir Shelter, you're halfway there. The other half may be something like:
The outcome (war/battle/civilization)?depends on HIS special knowledge uncovered?during his journey. Lots of emotional turns in a journey like that with partial memories and triggers. (safe/unsafe, trust/distrust, love/hate, happy/frightened, etc.)
best,
Marc
The story detail. He is greeted by a wife and friends he doesn't remember. ?He is told he was captured during the war, fell in love and now lives here, in what was enemy territory. ?Is it true or part of a scam to get information out of him?
A trimmed down version:
After waking from a three year coma, a soldier must discern whether or not he is among enemies or friends.
But to what end?
Figuring out who is an enemy and who isn't is just a small part of the story, what he will have to do after that is the bulk of it.
