After a empath singer offers to be a surrogate to her long time best friend, who struggles to conceive. She must overcome her guilt when she is told she could not conceive a child of her own due to her actions, and find the ability to accept her boyfriend’s desire to marry her, or lose him forever.

Keymiser:

Transgender must be in the logline.? Must, MUST, MUST.? It's your differentiating story hook.

And I suggest using the more common term "empathetic" in the logline.? Spell it out.

That said, in the script,? definitely develop how her intense awareness of others' feeling plays out as both a character strength and a character weakness.? For example, a critic of her decision, someone who knows her all too well (like her mother) could point out she's always been an easy mark, a sucker for a hard luck story.

And she will also be acutely aware of the negative feelings of her boyfriend.? So emotionally she's caught in a cross-fire, trapped between the horns of a dilemma, damned if she does,? damned if she doesn't.

Whatever.? My takeaway is that I sense there's dramatic gold to? be mined in her intense empathy.? (Are you aware of the Myers-Briggs typology? Your character would score at the far end of the feeling spectrum).

Best wishes with your project.

Keymiser:

Transgender must be in the logline.? Must, MUST, MUST.? It's your differentiating story hook.

And I suggest using the more common term "empathetic" in the logline.? Spell it out.

That said, in the script,? definitely develop how her intense awareness of others' feeling plays out as both a character strength and a character weakness.? For example, a critic of her decision, someone who knows her all too well (like her mother) could point out she's always been an easy mark, a sucker for a hard luck story.

And she will also be acutely aware of the negative feelings of her boyfriend.? So emotionally she's caught in a cross-fire, trapped between the horns of a dilemma, damned if she does,? damned if she doesn't.

Whatever.? My takeaway is that I sense there's dramatic gold to? be mined in her intense empathy.? (Are you aware of the Myers-Briggs typology? Your character would score at the far end of the feeling spectrum).

Best wishes with your project.

>>>Honestly, I wanted to tackle the relationship more between the protagonist and her boyfriend,

Okay.? I like that.? Now tighten up the logline, focus on the conflict it creates in their relationship.

But I suggest there needs to be some clarification.? By surrogate, do you mean she carries the fertilized egg of her friend's significant other (or sperm donor). Or....?

And the decision can't be impulsive, on the spot and then smash cut-- she's in surrogate mode.? It will cost mucho dinero.? Who's paying.? The whole arrangement will need to be vetted through a lawyer.? Just in case either party gets cold feet.

Also, any candidate for surrogacy has to go through a thorough medical checkup.? Also undergo psychological counseling to ensure that's she's emotionally stable and has considered the immediate and long term consequences.? Like how her boyfriend feels about it.

IOW: the conflict in their relationship would begin an escalate before she even becomes a surrogate.

Hmm.? Maybe the romantic complications could ensue when she becomes romantically involved after becoming a surrogate.? In the first trimester, while most guys are clueless.

Whatever, I agree with you that the relationship angle has more dramatic potential.

fwiw