Categories: Crime
Seedling of idea here. So probative questions will help me workshop this. Thinking mistress actually did it but she has some psychologist issue hence word “untangle” here. (And think that should haven been ending of a certain HBO show by the way.) I want her to seem like truly sympathetic protagonist until twist.
This is what I can see, make this yours.
“A former detective must unravel the true-crime when the spouse of her dead lover seeks revenge”
Another attempt:
An ex-detective turned lonely housewife feels alive again when she sleeps with an old flame, but when he ends up dead she must hunt the killer before she’s next.
Fabulous comments. Thank you.
All excellent questions, thank you.
Great points from Avakas.
To help with the stakes what if her lover was prominent, and where is the wife?
In the logline's current form there is nothing to keep the mistress from saying “check, please”, you need a life-or-death reason why she would pursue the truth.
Example: A cheating politician is murdered by his wife – ruled a suicide and the mistress is NEXT, thus she is compelled to solve the true crime.
Check out the 1998 movie “A Perfect Murder” as research; based on Alfred Hitchcock's “Dial M for Murder”.
Take care.
It is interesting and has some of the main ingredients, namely Character, Inciting incident, Action, Goal, which are all really important.
I feel it lacks Stakes, which are implied, but we need more: what will happen if she does not untangle the cause of his death? Is there something original or spicy there? This is extremely important: Stakes.
Also, some specificity would elevate it.
Can we get a characterization for the mistress? What type of person is she? Why are we reading her story? Is she young? Is she poor? Is she a trained boxer? Or an orphan who is left alone in the world? Why is he her lover and not her husband? What will she gain or lose? (Again, stakes)
Another piece is the Problem or the antagonist and the conflict. This is implied, but what will she come up against in her quest for justice? Think ancient Greek tragedies.
Another thing, would be the mention of the World. What type of place and society does she live in? Is it a city? Is it a dystopian future or ancient Rome?
Finally, try to bring some Irony in the mix to truly make it unique.
Hope this helped :)
