When a mobbed-up madam sends a prostitute up to the estate of a sadistic, reclusive billionaire, it sets off a chain reaction that has her and those in her organized crime circle running for their lives.

Agree with the others. "Sets of a chain reaction" is too vague. Sending the prostitute to the house sets up the inciting incident, but doesn't seem to be the inciting incident.? And there is no clear objective goal.? In fact, it's not clear to me who the protagonist is, the madam, the prostitute, or....?

Agree with the others. "Sets of a chain reaction" is too vague. Sending the prostitute to the house sets up the inciting incident, but doesn't seem to be the inciting incident.? And there is no clear objective goal.? In fact, it's not clear to me who the protagonist is, the madam, the prostitute, or....?

The inciting incident is surely what happens once the prostitute is at the house - e.g. she's not what was ordered/she's not submissive enough/she bites his member off - whatever - but that's the bit that I'm interested in and that makes me want the story to be about the prostitute not the madam. Could you make it so that the mob-queen (who started as a prostitute and has worked her way up the ladder) is the one requested by the billionaire. This then creates an interesting power struggle between the two at his estate which ultimately results in the inciting incident.

I think it needs to be more obvious why they are all running for their lives. What did the billionaire do to threaten them all? Is her goal to save her "business" or just her own life?

Hope this helps.